


Redemption

by Stargazer1116



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluffy-duffy-bum-bum, Fluffyfest, Hallmark Channel of Reylo, Kylo Ren Redemption, Marriage of Convenience, No Smut, Reylo - Freeform, South Dakota, Wild West, farm life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-11-03
Packaged: 2019-06-30 07:47:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 41,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15747402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stargazer1116/pseuds/Stargazer1116
Summary: In the late 1890's, First Order gang leader Kylo Ren finds himself in custody in a little town that lives up to its name with some odd laws that reunite him with a girl from his past. Can he win the war with himself to fight to a different future? Will he ever deserve her?Friends, if you haven't read my other fics (this is my 4th--check out the other three on my dashboard), it's good to know a few things. First, I don't post until the fic is complete. The entire fic (sixteen chapters) will be posted by the end of the week. I don't like to keep you waiting! And second, I am a strictly PG-13, fluffy writer that loves writing about these two characters falling in love. My stories are quiet and romantic...not smutty. If you are ready for that kind of ride, buckle up because it will be a fast one!





	1. Consideration

There is a little town where the warm western winds blow in South Dakota called Redemption. The townspeople were an eclectic group of caring folk that came from all over. There were original homesteaders who had since moved on, while new ones came in with stars in their eyes to chase the dream own owning land in the West. It was a hard life, but it was a good life.

Rey Kenobi knew all too well how hard it could be. She was found wandering on the prairie one day and was adopted by Old Ben Kenobi, the bachelor pastor of the small local flock. Most in town didn’t know how she got there. A rumor had spread, amongst those that were connected with the natives of that land, that the little gal was found wandering around a camp with her deceased parents. Why or how they died, according to the rumor, was not clear. That same source said that she was purposefully dropped near Papa Ben’s homestead, in hopes that the kindly bachelor would find her and help her find a home amongst her people.

Instead, he kept her himself. He had always wanted a family, but his work had kept him from it. He doted on Rey, and she adored him.

And so, the people of Redemption became Rey’s people. She loved them, and they loved her...but now she was alone.

Four years earlier, when she was sixteen, Papa Ben had taken sick with a fever that tore through their little town. He and many others were wiped out that year.

There were some friends that offered to take her in and even some offers of marriage. She wasn’t interested in those, though. She had worked hard on their farm for many years, and she knew she could do it herself.

The thing was, though...she wasn’t doing so well on her own. Sure, she could take care of the basics, but she was not able to help the farm thrive. She was tired...and she was lonely. And, she really needed this crop to pay off the mortgage Papa Ben had gotten to build the house ten years ago. The final balance was coming up due, and she was short.

She had friends. There were the Tico sisters that ran the general store. Their parents had died of the fever too, so they had all been orphaned at the same time. There was Finn, the deputy. He was her friend, but he was sweet on Rose, and she figured any day now they would announce their engagement. There used to be Poe...but he was one of her offers of marriage, and he didn’t know when to quit and admit defeat. She didn’t feel as comfortable around him now.

And, there was Uncle Luke. Luke was groomed by Papa Ben to take over his ministry. He faithfully led the congregation each week and cared for his flock in many ways. He was kind. He and his wife Mara considered her family. They were never able to have kids of their own, and they always had her over for holidays. Well, her and the Tico sisters too, on account of them all not having kin close by.

She knew she had people who cared about her, and she cared for them. But she still felt like something was missing.

She wasn’t sure what...but it was.

She surveyed the view from her porch one more time. Her house was sturdy and more than she needed with two bedrooms, a common room with living space and the kitchen, and a pantry. It was set on a small rolling hill, purposed to protect it from the river when it swelled and flooded after the winter snows melted. That height gave her a view of her rolling property.

The field of corn stood next to the field of wheat of equal size. The pasture held her white and rust-colored mustang, Bebe. Her cow, Betsy and the goats, Artoo and Threepio (on account of his odd three horns) grazed nearby. She could hear the chickens out back.

She had a good life. The good Lord had blessed her this year with a bountiful crop that was almost ready to harvest. It was hard, back-breaking work, and she couldn’t do it alone. She would have to rely on her friends, and she hated to ask for help.

She sighed and went in to change out of her trousers she worked in and into her Sunday dress. Luke and Poe had called a town meeting tonight, and she didn’t like being late.

___________________________

Poe banged the gavel on the holy desk that doubled as a podium at town meetings.

“Order...friends. Please take your seat.”

The conversations quieted, and then Poe continued.

“The reason Luke and I asked you to come, tonight, is to decide a town matter. Most of you do not know that a week ago today, I apprehended the leader of the First Order cowboy gang, Kylo Ren. He was injured and left for dead by his gang.”

“Normally, I would hold him until the judge made his way her for his circuit. But, Mr. Ren has made a confession of his deeds and has renounced his life of crime. Because of this, Luke reminded me that we as a town have the ability to offer another option.” Poe’s expression seemed annoyed at this. “Luke...please join me and explain.”

Luke rose up, dressed in his pastoral collar, a black shirt, and a black suit. He looked official, tonight.

“Friends, when Redemption was founded, it was with the hope that it could be a place where folks could find a second chance. Many of us, myself included, have benefitted from this idea that hope for a different life was possible.”

“Because of this hope, the founders placed several laws in place that would allow for second chances for people that find themselves in a hard way. In particular, when a criminal shows remorse and renounces their foolish ways, there is a provision to extend grace...but it is conditional.”

Jonathan spoke out. “Pastor Luke - are you sayin’ we should let this criminal go free?”

Luke smiled patiently at him. “No...but I wanted to let everyone know that we have these things in place.”

“What is it? What is the condition?” the always jovial Snap Wexley asked skeptically.

“Well, the law states that if the prisoner is remorseful and renounces, and was not caught in a violent crime at the time of apprehension, he could have his crimes removed...if a willing upstanding, woman of God is willing to marry him.”

The buzz of questioning voices rose to a crescendo.

“You cannot be serious, Luke!” Robert Haagsma called out.

“We can’t let a former gang member loose in our town!” cried Carolyn Miller.

“We don’t even have anyone that could, do we?” Finn asked Rose quietly next to him?

Many other voices just started talking at the same time and blended together. Some were raised in anger, some were pleading in fear.

Luke banged the gavel. “Friends...I know this is an unusual idea, but it is part of our laws. And, for reasons I cannot divulge, I have reason to believe the sincerity of this man. I know we would not allow a dangerous man to go free, and I am not suggesting it. I am merely making the town aware. We have not had a circumstance where a criminal confessed, so it’s just never come up.”

“Why would we sacrifice one of our own to this devil?” Harriet O’Neill asked. She was a spinster and the town busy-body.

“Harriet,” Luke said gently, “we aren’t asking anyone to do anything. We are simply opening the opportunity provided by our laws, which apply to this matter.”

Rey had sat there, taking in the scene around her. Something in her had jolted and made her heart beat faster as Luke was talking. She often thought about the grace Old Ben had given her when he took in a stranger. This was not the same thing...but she couldn’t get that idea out of her head as her heart raced.

She suddenly stood up. “Luke - is he an able worker?”

Luke’s smiling eyes turned to Rey and locked on her face. “Rey...he is well equipped to do physical labor.”

When she stood to ask the question, she felt the heat of Poe’s gaze on her. She ignored it.

She raised up her chin. “I’ll do it.”

Gasps broke out across the crowd. There were more raised voices. She could see the worry and concern on her friends’ faces, and the horror of others. Even Harriet had the good sense to look worried about her.

“I would like to remind you all that I can take care of myself. I am the best shot in the state, and I cared for me and Old Ben for a long time. But, the farm is growing, and I can’t do it alone. I need help, and this man needs a home. It is a mutually beneficial solution. I will do it.”

Luke looked at her with a serious expression, but she knew him too well for him to block the light of excitement from his eyes.

“Are you sure, Rey.”

She called up a prayer heavenward, and that energy in her soul only increased. It just felt like the right thing for her to do.

“I am.”

Luke pounded the gavel again. “Then, friends, the matter is resolved. The requirements for the law have been fulfilled. Rey, please come to see me. This meeting is adjourned.”

Rey made her way to the front. She patted her friends and neighbors on the shoulders, assuring them she would be fine.

When she got to the front, she realized that Poe was staring at her. She couldn’t read whether he was angry or hurt...maybe both.

She shook her head at him and gave him a half smile,

Luke wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “Rey, please come have some pie with Mara and I...then we can talk more about this.”

She nodded and walked out with him, tossing one more glance back at Poe. She couldn’t explain it to him, but she knew she couldn’t marry him just as sure as she knew she was supposed to marry this criminal stranger she had never met.

_________________________

Rey had finished half of her pie and was well through her cup of tea when Luke started. “Rey...do you remember my sister, Leia? They moved when you were still young. Her husband Han worked in transporting goods. They moved to Chicago not too long after Old Ben adopted you.”

She shook her head.

“Well...Leia and Han moved with their teenage son, Ben. He was a serious, troubled kid. He was one of those old souls, even when he was young. Anyway, the move from a small town like Redemption to a big city like Chicago took its toll on Ben. He got into trouble with a bad crowd. Leia was distraught. She even toyed with sending him to live with Mara and me for a spell, but by then it was too late. Finally, when he was 19, he left home and got involved with organized crime.”

Rey’s eyes got big. She was trying to imagine someone related to Luke turning to a life of crime.

“Well...Leia lost touch with him over the years. She tried looking for him, she tried using her political connections with the law to find him...even let Han call in some law enforcement favors. Finally, after many years, she gave up hope.”

“Ben joined Snoke’s organization about ten years ago. In all that time, I never saw him.”

He set his cup of tea he had been nursing back on the little plate. “That is, of course, until I walked into the jail yesterday.”

Rey shook herself as if that would help her better understand Luke’s words. “I’m sorry...are you saying that your nephew is Kylo’s cellmate?”

He reached over and squeezed her hand. “No, Rey….I am saying that Kylo IS Ben.”

She startled and breathed in deep. “You mean...the man I just said I would marry is your nephew?”

Luke nodded and smiled bigger. “Yep...but there’s more, Rey. Leia named him after her pastor...and her pastor was…”

“Papa Ben,” she breathed.

He just nodded a full smile on his face now.

“So...is that how you know he’s sincere? That he isn’t dangerous?”

“Oh...Rey...he is dangerous. But, I am confident he won’t hurt you.”

“You are...but why?”

“Well, for starters, even though he has lived a life of crime, his Mama actually trained him with her east coast manners. They were out of place here, but they are there. But, more importantly, he was very kind to you, back then.”

He eyebrows shot up. “You mean...you mean he knows who I am?”

Again, he nodded. “He was here for about a year after you came to live here. You were so little, I wouldn’t think you would remember. But, I’m sure he would. He was very protective of you, and I am completely confident he would not hurt you.”

She swallowed. “Luke...what is he like?”

The smile left his eyes. “He is a broken man, Rey. He is broody and aloof. But, I see something in his eyes...a sincerity that hasn’t been there since he was a boy. Ben Solo is still in there.”

Her mind whirled. It was all a lot to take in. The only thing she could think to say was, “When can I meet him.”


	2. Sunday Go To Meetin’

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey meets the criminal...and Poe isn't happy about it.

Luke made arrangements for Rey to meet Ben on Sunday afternoon. She would come have Sunday dinner after church with them, then he would take her to the jail.

Those were Poe’s stipulations. He got Luke to agree to let Rey have a few days to consider her decision, and then not make it final until after they met.

Poe was not happy.

Rey dressed carefully in her only dress again Sunday morning. She tried to ignore the gossipy whispers that trailed after her as she took her seat next to Rose.

Rose leaned over and breathed, “You ok?”

She just nodded.

“Ignore them Rey...they have nothing else to talk about right now. This will all die down next week.”

Again she nodded and turned her attention up front for the start of the service.

Luke stood at the podium and bellowed…”Friends...this is the day the Lord has made…”

_______________________

A few hours later, Rey was standing with Luke in front of the jail. Poe came out to meet them. His expression was grim. His eyes kept darting to her, as if they were begging her to reconsider. She just kept her hand on Luke’s arm and lowered her eyes down.

“Poe,” Luke said gently. “We are ready to see him now.”

With a sigh, Poe opened the door and stood to the side to let them in. It took Rey a moment for her eyes to adjust to the dark room. There were just two windows in the building, and the jail cell was in the middle.

Luke walked with her to the bars.

“Ben…”

A deep, firm voice responded. “I don’t use that name anymore, old man.”

Luke sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Would you please come here...Rey and I need to talk to you.”

Rey heard shifting in the cell, then the sound of heavy boots on the ground. When she saw them enter her line of sight, she slowly raised her eyes up to meet his. They had to travel a long way.

She gulped. This man was massive. A spark of fear tingled down her spine. What was she thinking? She couldn’t protect herself against this mountain of muscled flesh.

Once her eyes met his, though, she saw the warm coffee color of them and the fear dissipated. She couldn’t name the expression she saw there, but the eyes that regarded her weren’t hard.

His voice grew softer, “Rey?”

Something stirred in Rey when heard the recognition in his voice.

Luke started again, “Yes, Ben...this is her. We have something to discuss with you.” He nodded to Poe. Poe signaled for him to turn around, and he cuffed his hands behind him. Once he was secure, he opened the cell door and guided him to the table. He shoved Ben down...harder than necessary, before attaching the cuffs to the bracket on the back of the chair.

In the better light of the middle of the room where the table was, Rey was able to see him better. His shirt was torn and the shoulder was bloody. His ebony hair was long, to his shoulders, and he had a mustache and narrow beard that didn’t reach his cheeks. His face was dirty, so his features were a little hard to make out.

Luke cleared his throat. ‘So, Ben...as you know, our town was started by a group of God-fearin’ folk that believed in second chances. Because of that, they created laws that are unusual. In particular, there is one for someone who has renounced their life of crime. Per our conversation the other day, and for the record, do you affirm that is the case with you?”

Ben just nodded.

“Very well. Our laws state, in that case, that if that renouncement takes place, and one other requirement is met, we can absolve your crime.”

His head whipped up to his uncle at that. “What?”

Luke just nodded. “It’s true, Ben. But...there is the matter of that other requirement.”

Ben’s gaze turned suspicious and his head cocked to the side. “What is the condition?”

“Well, the law says that if a God-fearin’ woman is willing to marry you, then you can go free.”

Ben snorted and looked out the window. His tone was low and sad. “I guess I am as good as dead, then.”

Luke simply stated, “Rey has agreed to be that woman.”

Again, Ben’s head whipped around in utter disbelief. “Wha-wha-what? She...she can’t do that. She doesn’t know who I am...what I have done.”

Rey interrupted. “Mr. Solo...you are right that I don’t know, and I admit this is a risk. The truth is, my adoptive father died four years ago, and I need help on the farm. You need someone to give you a second chance. I have thought and prayed about it, and I believe this is the right thing to do. Unless of course, you object?”

His eyes were soft again, searching her face for a sign of deceit.

“Besides,” she continued. “If you try anything fresh, or try to escape, you should know that I am the best shot in the northern territory. I won’t hesitate to defend myself or hold you to your end of this agreement.”

Ben swallowed. “I appreciate your willingness, ma’am. But...you don’t even know me...don’t remember me.”

“Well...I suppose we will get to know each other in time. But right now, I need help on the farm, and you need a get out of jail pass before the judge comes through on his circuit.”

Ben looked over the proud woman in front of him. Her posture was ramrod straight. He could tell that admitting she needed help didn’t sit well with her. His previous line of work had taught him to be observant of people, as knowing how to read them produced untold advantages for those wanting to...well...take advantage.

He remembered her freckles, upturned nose and large hazel eyes from when she was little. There was an openness and honesty about her face. Something about her eyes made her seem older than she was. He knew she had to be about twenty now, and he wondered why a pretty woman like her wasn’t married already. And, he knew marrying him would cut-off any other chances for her.

But, he also knew the life here. It was hard on people. Her callused, scarred hands were evidence of that. He knew there was no way one person could do what was needed to farm, let alone a woman that didn’t have enough strength for some of the work. He didn’t like to think about his former charge being alone.

He was in a pickle. He needed freedom, and she needed his work. There was only one way for that to happen.

He sighed. “How exactly would this work?”

Luke smiled...it looked pretty sneaky to Ben. “Well, if you both agree, then we will arrange a ceremony and it’s done.”

Poe finally stepped forward. “Rey...can I please have a moment? Outside?”

He caught her off-guard, but she nodded and turned to go out the door.

Once the door closed, Ben turned back to Luke. “Why on earth would you let her do this?”

Luke chuckled. “Ben...the sooner you realize that no one ‘lets’ that girl do anything, the better off you will be. It was her idea...not mine.”

“But she doesn’t even know me.”

“I know...she didn’t even know who it was when she offered. I think she still owes on the mortgage Ben took out years ago. She’s been working herself to the bone.”

Ben’s voice turned steely. “What if I had been some horrible person? What if it was someone that would have hurt her?”

“And you won’t? Are you a good person, Ben?”

He froze and his jaw clenched. His eyes dropped to his lap. “No...no I’m not. But I could never hurt her.”

“I know that, Ben. She knows what she was getting herself into, and she knows how to take care of herself.”

Ben nodded, eyes still downcast. He tried to wrap his head around the protective instinct that roiled up in him when he thought about Rey marrying some other criminal. But the truth was, he knew he wasn’t much better. His sins and crimes were vast, and he didn’t deserve what she was doing.  
___________________________________

At first, Poe just paced. He would stop and start to say something, then started pacing again. He stopped and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand.

Finally, he seemed to find his words. “I am trying to understand, Rey. Why...why would you do this?”

“You heard what I said.”

“It doesn’t make any sense, though. Why would you chain yourself to some criminal?”

She turned and looked down the at the dusty ground. “I don’t owe you an explanation, Sheriff Dameron.”

He stepped closer, causing her to turn back to him. His voice was soft, his eyes pleading. “Was the idea of me so terrible that this is the better alternative?”

She sighed. “Poe...this is a business arrangement. I need something, and so does he. It’s not personal. What you were asking of me...that was. And, I couldn’t pretend to have feelings that aren’t there. I am sorry.”

He put his hand on her arm. “Rey...I get that. It’s fine if you don’t want to marry me...I just don’t understand why you will marry him. He’s not a good person, Rey.”

She nodded and looked down to her hands that were twisting her hankie. “I know he’s not...but I think he could be. I can’t explain it, but I prayed about it and I feel like this is what I am supposed to do.”

He stepped back, dropping his hand from her arm. “I’m not sure what kind of a God would ask a vulnerable young woman to do something like that.”

She shrugged her shoulders. “In my experience, what God asks us to do isn’t always safe...but it’s always good.”

_______________________________

She went back inside and the agreement was made. Rey signed a document Luke had produced with Poe, and arrangements were made for the next day. Rey tried not to worry about the day of work she would miss but knew she could do some chores later in the day.

She laid her head down on her pillow that night, wondering at what she was about to do. What if Luke was wrong and Ben would hurt her? Was she crazy bringing a criminal into her home? What kind of living arrangements would work?

She tried not to let the panic set in. She remembered why she was doing it...and she finally drifted off to sleep in peace.


	3. Wedding Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's so fun to see familiar screen names popping up in the comments and kudos. Thank you for journeying with me again.
> 
> It's wedding day!

Ben was up at sunrise. The fact was, he really didn’t sleep so well. Shoot...he just didn’t sleep much in general, but his pending nuptials to a sweet, innocent girl from his past didn’t help.

Just after breakfast, Luke came to collect him. Once they stepped out of the jail door, his eyes burned as they adjusted to the daylight he hadn’t seen for a week.

“Where are we going...the wedding isn’t for a few hours, right?”

Luke smirked at him. “You can’t get married like that. You are having a bath and a shave...a haircut if you would like. We need to find you something to wear too.”

First, they headed into Tico’s General Store. The two ladies behind the counter looked young like Rey and appeared to be of some sort of Asian descent. “Morning, Pastor Luke!” the smaller one called out.

“Good morning, Rose.” He said gently. 

“What can I do for you?”

He clapped his hand on Ben’s back. “Well...this man is due to be married in a few hours, and he needs some new clothes. Can you help us with that?”

Rose’s head snapped up, up, up to Ben. He tried not to laugh at the look on her face.

“You are the cri...I mean, the man that is marrying Rey,” she stammered.

“Yes, Ma’am.” He said.

Her eyes looked a bit surprised and amused. “Well, Pastor Luke...I don’t have a lot in stock in his...um...size…” she trailed off as she led them to the back corner of the store.

She looked on the racks. “Flannel shirts and work pants look to be about it. Will that suit?” she asked.

Luke nodded and perused a basket with boxer shorts.

Rose followed his eyes, then cleared her throat. “Well...I’ll leave you to it, then. There is a dressing room in the corner there if you need to try things on. I will just be behind the desk if you need me.”

“Luke...this isn’t necessary.”

“Of course it is...it’s your wedding day.”

Ben’s voice lowered an octave. “Luke...you know it’s not that kind of wedding.”

The older man met his eyes with flashing determination. “It doesn’t matter. Rey is like a daughter to Mara and me, and I won’t have her marrying you in bloody, smelly clothes.” He shoved a few articles into his arms. “Go try these on.”

He looked down at what he held in his arms. “I can’t pay for these...not now, anyway.”

Luke snorted. “Consider it your trousseau...my treat. Go try them on and be quick about it...we have more to do.”

When he was done, Luke took the red and black plaid shirt, tan canvas pants, new wool socks, black suspenders...and blue striped boxers...to Rose at the front desk. Ben watched him in easy conversation with the young lady, his affection for his parishioners obvious. He accepted the brown paper wrapped parcel from her and headed back over to Ben.

“C’mon...it’s off to the barber with you now.”

A few buildings down from the store was Snap’s barbershop. A heavy-set man with a quick wit greeted them.

He clasped Luke’s hand firmly. “Reverend...what can I do you for?”

Luke pushed Ben forward. “Snap...this here is Ben, and he’s in need of a bath and a shave...can you help us?”

Snap responded with a few quips before heading to the door in the back. Fifteen minutes later, he returned and motioned for Ben to follow him. 

In the middle of the room was a large wooden tub. He felt it and appreciated the mildly warm water. Once Snap left him to it, he quickly stripped and sank into the water, submerging his whole body...as if he could wash off more than the dirt that clung to him.

It felt better than he’d like to admit. He couldn’t remember the last time he had bathed in a tub. He and the gang that was working for Snoke in the western territories had been on the road for a long time. Quick dips in rivers were the extent of getting clean he had had in months...maybe years. He allowed himself just to soak in the peace of it for a minute before grabbing the soap and starting to clean himself.

He dried off and got dressed in all but his shirt. He stepped back out to the main room and sat in the chair to let Snap shave him.

“So...what is the occasion that you fine gentlemen are out so early on a Monday shoppin’ and shavin’?”

Luke was silent for a minute. Everyone in town knew about Rey’s offer, and they would see Ben around, so there was no point in hiding it. “Ben here is getting married today.”

Snap play punched his arm, before sobering at the glint in Ben’s eyes. “Oh...and who is Mr…”

“Solo,” Ben supplied.

“Ah...yes...Mr. Solo...who is Mr. Solo marrying?”

Luke just said it. “Rey.”

Snap’s motions on Ben’s neck stopped, the blade just resting against his throat as the other man considered what Luke just said. He quickly recovered before continuing, all the amusement went now from his voice. “Rey is a right fine lady, Mr. Solo. I hope you know what you are being blessed with. Congratulations.” He said the words with a kind tone, but a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

Ben remained silent. He knew that the town knew who he was...and everyone apparently loved Rey and were protective of her. He hadn’t been looking much past getting out of jail and his freedom...but now he was starting to wonder what it would be like to live in a town where everyone knew their favorite gal was hitched to a bad guy.

_______________________

After their excursion to town, Luke led Ben back to his house. Mara offered him coffee and some cookies she had just made. He crunched on them, wondering when he had last had a home-baked cookie. When was he last in someone’s home?

They had an hour until the set wedding time. Ben finally broke their silence and started asking him questions.

“So...what exactly does Rey grow?”

Luke’s eyebrows raised in surprise, but he answered, “I think corn and wheat. She has two decent-sized fields. They should be ready to harvest in a month or so.”

“How does she do that? I mean...I’m no farmer, but I know that is a lot of work.”

Luke chuckled. “Rey is a spitfire. She is mule-headed. If she decides to do something, she will find a way to do it...even if she kills herself trying. I am sure she just harnessed that horse of hers and figured out a way to get it done. She is creative too...she invents all kinds of gadgets. Maybe she made one to help with plowing and planting.”

Ben was going to ask more, but just then a knock came from the front door. Mara went to answer it and let Rey in. 

She walked into the familiar home and stopped suddenly when she saw the two men rise in the parlor.

She had seen Ben yesterday, but it was in the dim light of the jail, and he just scruffy looking. She took in the sight of him. 

She knew he was tall, but today he seemed even bigger. Maybe the handcuffs made him slouch a bit? She wasn’t sure, but she was again bewildered over his size. The second thing she noticed was his face. The dirt was gone...and the facial hair. Now his strong jaw and full lips were on full display, which made his dark eyes and eyebrows stand out more. His hair fell in inky waves beside his cheekbones, halfway to his shoulders as opposed to the greasy mess it was before. She could just see more of his face, and it looked younger than she thought yesterday. It was striking.

She felt discombobulated. He wasn’t what she was expecting.

Luke greeted her with a hug, and he turned to address them. “Well, kids...are we ready?”

Ben’s eyes turned to her. She noticed now that they were the color of the chocolate bars she loved from Tico’s. He had one eyebrow raised, asking her silently if she was ready.

She nodded and followed Luke, with Ben following close behind.

______________________________

They stood side-by-side, not touching throughout the ceremony. They had lunch with Luke and Mara, then headed out to the wagon with Bebe attached. 

As she prepared to step up into the seat, she felt him grab her hand. Her face snapped to his, eyes wide. She wasn’t prepared for how warm and pleasant it would feel to have him touch her. She scurried up quickly and yanked her hand away. 

Her actions were not lost on him. He sat quietly in the seat next to her, his hat in his hands.

He pushed down the feelings that were boiling close to the surface. Ben was not a man who took kindly to being at the mercy of others. Yet, here he sat next to the woman that saved him from jail, and now drove him to her home. He had never felt more helpless.

He shoved his hat on and stared out across the prairie.

________________________________

When they got to the farm, he jumped down quickly to help her out.

“Are you going to always do that?” she asked when her feet are on the ground. She was looking up at him, biting her lip.

He exhaled and turned to look out over the fields. “Probably. It’s how I was raised.”

“That’s...interesting.”

He looked back at her, “Interesting?”

She laughed softly. “Yeah...you don’t really picture criminals with gentlemanly manners.” She straightened. “C’mon Ben...I’ll show you around.”

She led him into the small home. He took in the large porch that ran the length of the front before ducking his head inside. 

The great room was warm and inviting. The simple paneled walls were whitewashed and had oak trim. A large fireplace dominated one wall, with a couch and two rockers in front of it. To the right was the kitchen area with a big black stove, pump sink and plank table with benches on either side. To the left, he saw a hallway and a ladder that led to the attic.

“If you follow me, I’ll show you your room…” she tossed back to him as she led him down the hallway.

The opened the first door on the left. “This here will be your room. Mine is down the hall.”

He peered in and saw the good-sized wood-frame bed with a quilt in navy and rust on top. A dresser with a wash basin on top was on the opposite wall and a wardrobe near the foot of the bed. A chair next to the bed had a towel neatly folded on it.

“I hope this will suit you...it was my father’s.”

He turned to her. “Old Ben was a good man, Rey. I am sorry for your loss...he was always kind to me.”

She blinked, willing herself not to cry in front of this stranger who wasn’t completely that. “That he was…”

She kept walking to the end of the hall, past the closed door he assumed was her room. She took him out the back door and showed him where the outhouse and woodpile was. He noticed an admirable amount of wood in a neat pile along the back wall, and he wondered who did that for her.

Next, she took him to the barn. She walked past him to the front of the house to grab the reigns on Bebe and guide him into the shelter. After she ducked inside, he walked over to see what she was doing.

Still in her dress, he watched as she took the wagon yoke off of the horse and pushed it up against the wall. His eyebrows shot up, knowing how heavy that had to be. If she hadn't stunned him so with her actions, he would have rushed to help her...but she was too quick. She then started brushing Bebe down.

“Do you know animals, Ben?”

He appreciatively patted the side of the horse's neck. “I know horses, and when we lived here when I was young, I had to look after the animals. It’s been a while, but I think I can manage.”

She nodded. “Maybe after supper, we can talk about chores and what we each will do.” She put the brush away and led Bebe out to the fenced pasture on the side of the barn. He noticed the large brown cow out there. 

“That there is Betsy. She calved in the early spring and I sold it just a few weeks ago. The goats there are Arty and Threepio. I have about two dozen chickens in the coop...they aren’t named.”

“If you come around this way…” she led him down the side of the house, “You can see the fields from here. I have a crop of wheat and a crop of corn I’m hoping to have enough to sell.”

He saw the golden fields just down the slope. “Rey...Luke mentioned something about a mortgage payment?”

She winced...like she didn’t know anyone knew. “Yeah...Papa Ben wanted to build this house and insisted on enough space for me to have my own room, but a reverend’s income can be sparse. He decided to borrow to build it. The church was growing, and we were able to handle it. But then after he died...the bank allowed me to have a bereavement forbearance for a while. I have been paying a little at a time, but now the rest is coming due.” 

Her eyes looked down the golden fields again. “I hope it’s enough.”

She turned back to him and shook her head a bit. “We can talk more about this later. I want to go change, and then we need to think about rustling up some supper.” She smirked at him, “Can you cook, Ben Solo?”

He grinned back. “I can hold my own. You have to if you are going to survive on the trail.”

She turned her serious eyes to him. “You know...I really don’t know that much about you. I would like to ask you some questions, though. Can we do that while we eat?”

He nodded and then she turned to go back inside.

__________________________________

Supper was a simple meal of beans and cornbread. At first, they ate in silence. He cleared his throat finally and spoke up.

“Rey...you said you have questions? Did you want to talk about that now?”

She looked up but quickly looked back down. “I...I don’t want to pry, but I do need to know some things about the person living under my roof.”

He took a bite of cornbread and nodded. For her to continue.

“So...Luke said that you were involved in organized crime in Chicago? Is that true?”

Ben dropped his spoon, steeling himself to answer what she needed him to. “That is true. In my late teens, a mob boss named Snoke recruited me. I worked for him there for several years, then he wanted to branch out into...prospects out west.”

“And...you have hurt people?”

“I have. My size and build made him groom me for that.”

She hesitated. “Have you….have you killed anyone?”

He looked her in the eye and just nodded. She gulped.

“And...what ‘prospects’ out west are you talking about?”

He sighed. How was the time for his confessional? “I was the leader of a gang of bank robbers. A few weeks back, things went wrong and I was thrown from my horse on the way out of town. They didn’t look back, and I didn’t get up to follow. I hit my head, and my horse ran off. It took me a bit to get past the dizziness and pain, then I was in Quincy, just the next town over. Some of the men in town recognized me from a wanted poster, and they did a citizen’s arrest until Poe came and picked me up.”

The considered him and his words while she chewed. “That doesn’t sound to me like you tried to get away. Almost like you wanted to get caught.”

He chuckled. “I supposed I did. I was tired of it, and I was mad that they left me. Being on the run all the time had gotten old, and I didn’t like living in my saddle. I just wasn’t sure what kind of life I wanted anymore. I was brought to Redemption to await trial...and now we are here.”

She set her spoon down and rubbed her neck. “Ben...do...I mean, as a woman...do I need to know anything about you? Are you dangerous to me?” She looked him dead in the eye. “Should I be afraid of you?”

His hands froze at her words. I thought carefully about how to respond to her. “Rey...I want to be honest with you. I am not a good man, and I have done a lot of things I’m not proud of. My sins are too many to count. But, I have never hurt a woman, and have never acted in an untoward manner with one. My job was with other scoundrels...all men, except for Phasma who was part of our gang. I would never hurt a lady. I don’t want that lifestyle anymore...but I also can’t erase what I’ve done.”

He drew his gaze up to her eyes then. “Rey...you don’t need to be afraid of me. I used to take care of you...when you were little. I am grateful for what you have done for me. I will help around here, work the fields, and do what you need me to do. I’m here to help.”

She nodded and went back to eating. They didn’t talk anymore that night...except a hastily muttered goodnight.


	4. Working for a Living

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, sweet readers, for all the encouragement. I hope you like this one...Ben holds up his end of the bargain!

The next morning, Rey awoke with a start. When she peered at the light creeping in through her curtains, she realized it was later than her usual wake-up time. She knew why, too.

She had tossed and turned for a good few hours past her bedtime. It turns out having a gangster husband in your house leads to insomnia.

In the dark hours of the night, she called herself all kinds of crazy. What had she been thinking, not just letting him live here, but marrying the devil? What would Papa Ben say?

She thought that part of him would be proud of her for offering grace to someone, but part of him would have skinned her hide for putting herself in danger.

Oh, she KNEW what HE said...that she was safe with him. The trouble was, she couldn’t trust him. And if she couldn’t trust him, she couldn’t FEEL safe.

So, she worried and fretted until finally, sleep came.

She groaned and sat up, wiping the sleep from her eyes. She was late to the chores. She quickly got up and made quick work at the wash basin, then dressed as fast as she could.

When she entered the hall, the smell of coffee and food hit her nostrils. Curious, she followed the aroma to the main room.

She was surprised to find Ben at the stove, fiddling with someone in a pan on the stovetop. He turned when he heard her footsteps coming in the room.

She noted the look of surprise on his face as he took in her appearance.

“I...ah...it is easier to do farm work in trousers.” The flush on her face and questioning in her eyes tells him she is not sure how he will take her admission.

He just smirked. “I’m sure that is true. I’ve never worked in a skirt, though, personally…”

She sat to pull on her boots. “I’m sorry I’m late...I didn’t sleep well.”

He was pulling the pan off the stove. She could see the eggs and the salted pork sizzling in it at he portioned them out on the tin plates. He brought them over to sit at the table, setting her place in front of her.

“That is ironic...I had the best night’s sleep I have had in a long time. I can’t remember the last time I slept on a real bed.”

She felt what she could only recognize as a twinge of sympathy for him. “How long has it been...since you were home? Thank you for this, by the way...it looks good.”

He just nodded at her appreciation and answered her first question. “I suppose that depends on what you call home. I haven’t really had one since I left my parents’ home. I have mostly been in boarding houses or on a trail….”

He snorted a little laugh as he chewed the bite of pork. “...with a lot of smelly men.”

She gave him a small smile. She had been so serious since that day at the jail, he hadn’t really gotten to see what happened to her face when she did. It was mesmerizing.

“Coffee?” he asked.

She nodded and the smile got bigger. He liked that too much.

“I don’t know how you take it? There is milk on the counter…”

She looked up in surprise. “You milked Betsy?”

He chuckled, “Eventually. She didn’t take too kindly to me at first, but after a spilled bucket and a kick to my left shin, she made her peace with me.”

She giggled. She giggled and it was like the tinkling of something light and pure. She stopped when she saw the look on his face. She read it as annoyed.

It was not...it was awed.

She was back to serious Rey as she got up to add milk and sugar to her coffee. “You milked the cow and made breakfast?”

He had nodded his head and went back to his food. “Yes, ma’am. I collected the eggs, fed the chickens, hayed Bebe, milked the cow...and fed the goats.”

She turned to him with a look of surprise. “Ben...we didn’t really talk about what chores we each would do. But I didn’t intend for you to do them all.”

His eyes met hers. “I hardly think tending the animals is all you do around here, Rey. Why don’t you tell me about it all so we can decide what else I can do?”

She sighs. “Well...there is the tending to the crops. Making sure they stay watered and keeping a watch out for bugs and weeds. Except for the plowing, planting, and harvesting, this is the easy season of that. I have fencing that needs to be mended. And then, of course, the food preparation. I also usually go hunting once a week to replenish the food supply and stock up on dried and salted meat for the winter. Then there’s the firewood cutting...I just did that, so we should be good for a few weeks. I focus on that more after harvest to stock up for winter…”

He was finished with his food and just drinking his coffee as he listened to her. “You...you chop the wood?” he asked in amusement.

Her chin raised up, daring him to find her lacking. “I do everything around here, Ben. I have for more than 4 years.”

“Rey...I mean you no disrespect. I’m just surprised. City women are different. I can think of a few of them I’ve been acquainted with that can’t make toast, let alone plant crops or chop wood. I admire what you have done...but you're not alone here anymore. Why don’t you show me the fence after breakfast, and then what you do with the crops? Also, I can take over the wood chopping.”

As she ate, she nodded. She wouldn’t admit it to him, but she was secretly relieved about the wood chopping. She usually felt it in her back muscles for days.

“Now...what can you tell me about the mortgage?” he asked softly.

She bristled. “I can handle that.”

He tried a different approach. “So...you feel with this harvest you will have enough to cover it?”

She shrugged. “It depends on the prices of wheat and corn, I suppose.”

“How much would you need to profit? For the mortgage?”

Her eyes looked out the window, seeing the topics at hand swaying in the breeze. “Well, I need seed to replant next year, and probably should try to get a proper plow bit for next season. I think if I bring in $150 with this crop, I can pay off the mortgage and do all that too.”

He looked over her and considered her words. He felt a familiar tension of protectiveness in him stirring over her. It had been a while...a long time. He felt it when they were kids, and truthfully he felt it for her when she and Luke had come to him with their proposal. But later, after they had left, it abated when he realized that she would never have anything to fear with him. At least not from him directly.

He had been on his own for so long, just needing to do what he did for others to protect his own tail, it was unfamiliar to want to do things for someone else outside of that kind of selfishness. He wanted his charge from long ago not to have to work so hard, and to not be alone.

And, deep in the recesses of his soul, he hoped that along the way taking care of Rey would be some sort of penance...some absolution for all he was and what he had done.

____________________________

In the weeks to come, Rey felt like someone had come and given her some sort of vacation. Ben was up before her every day. No matter how much she determined in her mind to beat him up, she never made it. Sometimes he was still out with the animals, and sometimes he had already started to make breakfast.

And he worked...oh how he worked. He had checked and mended every square inch of the large fence surrounding the pasture and fields. He had checked the house and the barn, making adjustments here and there to prepare them for winter.

Then there was the matter of the woodpile. The first time she heard the tell-tell sounds of the ax hitting the wood, she glanced out the back door. Earlier in the day he had taken the wagon to the woods and had chopped down a few smaller trees that he could manage alone.

He was back and was hauling them out of the wagon. After he got the fourth and last one out, he turned and pulled off his work gloves to remove his shirt. He put the gloves back on and started on the trunks.

She tried not to look...she really did. But, she truthfully had never seen such a sight before. She had never seen a man unclothed in any way at all, except her adopted father when she cared for him at the end.

Ben was huge. She had known that, but seeing the truth of his muscles in broad daylight was another level of accuracy of the situation. His skin was smooth and taut over his build, except where it was interrupted by moles...and scars. He had several slashes of silvery ones on his back, and what looked like a bullet wound on his left shoulder. They were the evidence of his past life.

When he would raise the ax, all the muscles in his back would ripple as it made it’s descent down to the wood. Over and over again.

And, in all honesty, a part of her was jealous about how much that stature of his allowed him to do. He was at least four times as effective as she was with his work. She knew it was just his sheer size, but still, it irked her. There was a large pile now in the corner of the barn, and the porch was full as well. He had even started putting a stash in the cellar lest the weather make the piles out of the house unusable.

But the other part of her...the other part had to swallow hard and look away. She would bring him a cold drink and just linger for a moment before busying herself with something else...anything else.

She didn’t know how to describe what it all made her feel.

_________________________________

“Ben...I’m headed to town…” She called out from the wagon seat.

He grunted as he tugged the pasture gate closed. He turned to look at her. It was about four weeks after their wedding, and she was in her dress again. He figured she didn’t go around the townsfolk purposefully in her pants. He chuckled a bit to himself.

He squinted up at her. “Do you mind if I tag along?”

She wrestled a bit in her mind. Part of her wanted to get away from him for a bit. They had been working together on yet another repair on the fence. But then a part of her found an easy camaraderie in his company. She nodded and he hopped up onto the wagon.

He tentatively asked her, “Would it be OK...I mean...could I try driving?”

She seemed to be in some kind of daze. “Huh...oh, drive...sure.”

She passed the reigns to him and her hand brushed his work gloves. They were Papa Ben’s that he had been using, and her heart panged at the familiarity of them. She couldn’t decide how she felt about them on this Ben’s hands.

She felt bereft. She didn’t know what to make of the man sitting next to her. He had been working his fingers to the bone the last few weeks. He was holding up his end of the bargain. But, she still didn’t really know him. They had supper together each night, and most of their other meals, but the start of the day was full of talking about what they needed to do, and by the end of the day, he was exhausted.

It wasn’t as awkward to have a strange man in the house as she thought it would be. He was kind and polite. The worst part was figuring out the bathing schedule. The tub was always set up in the pantry, but there was not a lot of room in there for him. He seemed to manage, but it was just strange to know he was naked...amongst her baking supplies. It just was unseemly somehow, and the thought of it made her flush to her ears.

“Rey?” he asked, a question in his eyes.

“Sorry...I’m gathering wool I guess. What did you say?”

“I asked what you are after today? In town?”

“Oh...sorry. I need some thread. I have been behind on mending, but with you here…”

He nodded.

“I thought if I had some, I could fix your other shirt too.”

He looked at her in surprise. He had been wearing that shirt to work in...and the pants. He had managed to wash out most of the blood stains. The light blue chambray shirt just had a hint of a rust-colored stain left, but it had a hole in the shoulder and the shirttail was torn.

“That would be very kind of you, Rey.”

She watched the landscape, enjoying being able to look around a bit. She sighed and just relaxed a bit.

“So how does the sell of the grain go? Do you sell it here in town?”

She shrugged. “Some. The better prices come from the bigger cities, though. Rapid City is just a day’s ride by wagon...I was thinking of taking it up there.”

Ben turned to look at her. He was very familiar with that city...too familiar with parts. Some of it was associated with his previous business, but there was also some Solo connections there. That gave him an idea.

“I actually think that is a good idea...we could head up right after harvest.”

She turned to look at him with wide eyes. “You...you would come with me?”

He glanced at her with a half smile, “What kind of husband would I be if I let my wife go by herself?”

____________________________

They parked Bebe and the wagon by the general store and went inside. Ben took his had in his hand and nodded at Rose and Paige. “Miss Tico, Miss Tico.” He then went and looked at the tools.

Rose grabbed Rey by the hand. “Rey! Are you OK? I haven’t seen you since…” she nodded her head back towards Ben.

She laughed and hugged her friend. “I’m fine, Rose...just fine. Ben is a perfect gentleman, and he’s been a big help. You would never know…” she trailed off.

Rose inspected her face for any sign of untruth. “Are you sure?”

“Of course. Now...here is my list…”

The girls were busy catching up and looking over Rey’s list. They didn’t even notice the other customer that came in the door.

___________________________

Ben was looking over the harvesting scythes. Rey had an old one that she had repaired admirably, but it would go so much faster if they both had one.

“Well...Mr. Ren...I hope your purposes for that are legal. I’d had to have to bring you in again.”

Ben froze at the condescending tone of the sheriff before turning to face him.

“Sheriff Dameron...I am just looking over tools for the harvest for my wife and me…”

The smaller man stepped up closer to him, his voice barely reigning in his anger. “It better be, Ren. If you ever hurt her…”

Ben had been trying to turn the other cheek...he really had been, but something about the Sheriff didn’t sit well with him. He drew himself up to his full height, towering over the lawman. His voice dropped an octave as he said, “Actually...it’s Mr. Solo, Sheriff. I have left my life of crime behind me.”

“Uh-huh...I bet. Just remember...Solo...I’m watching you. If you ever lay a finger on her...”

“I can assure you, Sheriff, that would be impossible. I have been looking out for that girl since she was found as a little girl. I could no more hurt her than I could my own mother.”

Poe smirked at that. “You see, Solo, from my understanding, you have done just that. So you will have to excuse me if your assurances do little to relieve my concerns.”

At that, he turned and stalked out of the store. Ben looked down and sighed. Before...before he would have clocked someone like Dameron at the slightest hint of disrespect. He gritted his teeth and tried to shake it off.

When he looked back up, he saw Rey standing there. She was worrying her lip as she watched him. “You OK?” she asked softly.

He nodded and stormed out of the store.

_____________________________

They stopped by Luke and Mara’s on the way home. Rey sat with Mara in the parlor having tea, while Ben went and met with Luke in his study.

“So, nephew...how is married life fitting on you?” Luke’s eyes were alive with mirth.

“It’s just fine...I am settled in, and we just finished harvest. We are headed to Rapid City soon to sell our grain.”

Luke just shook his head and looked down at his hands. “In all those years...since you left home...I could never have imagined that you would wind up back here...farming of all things.”

“That makes two of us.”

“Are things with her ok?”

“Of course they are fine. I am holding up my end of the bargain. I promised to take care of her, didn’t I?” He couldn’t keep the frustration from his voice.

“Easy, son…” Luke started.

“I’m not your son, Luke, and I have already been grilled by the sheriff today. I assure you, Rey couldn’t be any safer than with me.”

Ben was confounded that Luke always seemed to have a knowing look about him like he knew everyone’s secrets. Maybe he did, after all, as a man of the cloth. Perhaps he got some sort of soul insight with that? His eyes turned outside now, lost in thought.

“Yes...Poe wouldn’t likely take kindly to you. That is a story for Rey to tell, though. But, I want you to know that I for one know that you would never let anything hurt her. Maybe better than anyone, I know that. I would never have let this marriage happen if I didn’t.”

Ben pressed his lips into a thin line and changed the subject. “Luke...I have a favor to ask you.”

When the other man looked back at him, he continued. “I need to see about transferring some of my savings here to the bank in town. Not the money from...well, from Snoke. My money from before...from my inheritance. I need to do some things around the farm. We need another horse and some other supplies. Do you think you could arrange that with me...with...her?”

Luke nodded. “I think I can...all of it or part?”

“Not all...probably about $500? Maybe $1,000? I’d rather leave most of it in Chicago, but that should do us for a while.”

“Sure...I can do that. You know...eventually, you are going to need to write her too.”

He rubbed his face at that. “I know...but I’m not ready yet. Also, do you think you could advance me a bit and you could just pay yourself back when the wire comes? There are some things I’d like to see about in the city.”

“How much?”

“Probably just $50...some clothing items, maybe a night in the hotel there and a meal. She works so hard all the time...it would be nice to spoil her a bit.”

Luke nodded again.

“Then...one more thing. If I give you a letter to take to the bank with...with the other money, I’d like for you to look into some charities we could donate it to. I don’t want anything to do with it now, but I can’t undo what has been done. I might as well do some good with it.”

Luke’s eyes lit up and Ben could have sworn he saw them glistening a bit. “I have a friend...she’s in Sioux Falls. She runs an orphanage there and has a ministry for girls she has rescued from...from the business. She gives them a place to live and teaches them a way to make a living honestly. It seems like a way to redeem that money a bit since Snoke’s gang runs a lot of brothels, don’t you think?”

Ben’s mind was pulled back to his former life. It was true that Snoke had many business interests, including prostitution. He had often used it to reward the men in his employment. He tried to use it with Ben, but he never bit. Ben wasn’t a virtuous man in many ways, but for some reason, Old Ben’s voice was in the back of his mind whenever that particular temptation arose. Snoke at times seemed impressed and other times annoyed by his choice of celibacy. And...no one had ever tempted him enough to want to forbid it.

He was never involved in the work of the brothels, but he heard about it, and it turned his stomach. It was a myth that the women chose it. Most of them were forced into it like slaves. No, robbing banks and murdering scoundrels he had been able to justify, but not that. It seemed right to use the money that way.

“That sounds perfect...do you have paper and a pen I can use?”

_____________________________

On the way home, Rey started the conversation.

“I suppose it would be good for you to know that Poe...I mean, Sheriff Dameron...well, he thought he was sweet on me. He asked me to marry him a few times.”

Ben stayed silent, but he was surprised at how her admission made his gut wrench.

“He didn’t take kindly to my offer for...well...to marry you. He was pretty angry, actually. I’m sure he would not be happy with any criminal getting out when he thinks they are guilty...but that you married me isn’t doing you any favors.”

They sat in silence for a few moments. Ben broke it when he quietly questioned, “Why did you say no to him, an upstanding man, but then offer to marry me?”

She took a deep breath as her eyes followed the tree line passing them by. “I’m not really sure, to speak plainly. In my heart, I knew he wasn’t for me when he kept asking me. But when Luke made that announcement about you...I just felt like I was supposed to do it.”

A guffaw escaped his lips before he could stop it and he teased, “Divine intervention?”

She turned and met his eyes. “Maybe...I suppose it’s possible.”

He broke the eye contact and his hardening gaze turned to the road. “He gave up on me a long time ago, Rey.”

Her eyes turned back to the horizon, and she said so quietly he almost didn’t hear her, “He never really does, Ben…”


	5. Harvest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harvest has come. Will Rey be able to save the farm?

Ben had been working harder since coming to Rey’s farm than he had in his whole life. He felt his chest and arm muscles expanding while his waist decreased. He had grown used to the muscle weariness of hard farm work.

But nothing had prepared him for harvest.

From sun up until late afternoon he and Rey worked. He swung the scythe across the grain and then he and Rey together would throw the stalks in the wagon. It took at least a week to cut it all down. Then they set about shucking the wheat. They filled four dozen large grain bags full to take into Rapid City, with six more for the house and another dozen to take to the general store.

Then came time for the corn. They peeled every last kernel from the cobbs and dried it in the sun, then bagged that up too. This would stay here in town and in their storehouse. They dried out the cobs to use for fuel in the winter.

They took the items to the general store and profited $45 between the wheat and corn. Rey seemed pleased with that. They decided to set out for Rapid City the next day.

The days were still warm but the nights were starting to get cool. Rey was packing a few items to take. She gathered the food, and extra clothing...then the bedding last.

Suddenly, like a bolt of lightning, it struck her...they would have to sleep out on the trail...with him. She didn’t have money for a hotel.

She swallowed and tried to calm her fluttering mind. How was that going to work?

___________________________

They were on the road when he mentioned his plans.

“So Rey...I am having Luke transfer some of my money to the bank in town, and he gave me some for the trip. I thought maybe we could do some shopping?”

Her face was as shocked as if he slapped her. “Shopping?”

“Yeah...I could use some things, and I’d like to at least get you another dress.”

Her mouth was just opening and closing. “Ben...you don’t need to buy me anything.”

“But I want to,” he countered softly.

She could feel her cheeks heat and she just held her tongue after that.

“Also, I thought we could stay in a hotel...get rooms there in the city tonight.”

She couldn’t stop her eyes from lighting up. “I’ve never stayed in a hotel before.”

“There is a nice hotel with a restaurant that has the best meals in town near the grain mill. I thought that would be a good place. There is a stable close by too.”

A part of Rey breathed a sigh of relief at not having to figure out a sleeping situation out on the trail.

They stopped for lunch after a spell and pulled into Rapid City in the late afternoon. The mill was open until 6 pm, and they had an hour to get over there and take care of the grain.

The prices were good, and Rey was pleased to pocket $160. This allowed her to keep the money from the store for the other items and have more than enough for the mortgage. Her heart was lighter than it had been for a long time.

The gruff man from the mill, Mr. O’Reilly, came to count out their money.

“Here you are, Mr. and Mrs. Solo. There are a few banks in town if you would like to have them hold it for you overnight.”

It just so happened that the one closest to the hotel was not one that would be familiar with Ben. They boarded Bebe and the wagon at the stables close by, then walked down to the bank. He held his breath as he walked in, nervous as they walked by the board with wanted posters. He knew plenty of fellas up there, but word must have gotten out about his capture, and his likeness was nowhere to be found.

They arranged an overnight deposit in the name of Ben and Rey Solo, then headed to the hotel.

Ben was getting ready to go up to the front desk to ask for two rooms when Mr. O’Reilly from the mill came through the lobby.

“Mr. and Mrs. Solo,” he called out in his boisterous voice, “nice to see you again. Are you checked in yet?”

They just looked at each other before turning to the other man. Ben recovered first.

“Um...no...we were just getting ready to.”

“Ah...Clarence here will set you up right, won’t you Clarence?” he said to the man behind the desk. Then he leaned over the counter, and with a gleam in his eye, he said, “Clary...they are newlyweds. I’m sure you have something extra special for them, right?”

Ben felt the blood draining his face. “No...really, that isn’t…”

“Nonsense, lad. We like to treat our business associates here nice. I hope you come back and do business with us again next year.”

And with that, he lumbered off to the dining room.

Ben turned to Clarence and gulped. “One room, I guess then?”

___________________________

When they got to the room, he set down their satchel. There was a large canopy bed in the middle of the room, a wardrobe, and a fireplace with two rocking chairs in front of it. No other furniture. There was a small door to the left side of the fireplace that Rey saw led to a small bathroom. A clawfoot tub, sink and flushing toilet. Rey had never SEEN a flushing toilet!

He turned to her, “Rey...I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to do? With him going on and on about us and being newlyweds, I just didn’t know how to…”

She cut him off and giggled. “Ben...I was there. It was an impossible situation. We’ll make the best of it. I mean...this place is great! But right now...now I’m hungry. Can we eat first, then figure out things later?

They both washed their hands and face and then headed downstairs.

Ben made a note about how excited Rey got about indoor plumbing. He made a mental note to look into that.

___________________________

They dined on roast beef with all the trimmings, and peach cobbler for dessert. Rey couldn’t remember ever being as full. She felt light and without a care in the world with the harvest all in. They are having fun. When was the last time her work-laden life allowed her to have fun?

After dinner, they headed to the hotel library to grab a book before heading up to the room.

They sat together in the firelight reading until Rey started yawning. She decided to go take a quick bath before bed.

Ben kept reading for a while before he stood up and started gathering some bedding from the wardrobe where extra pillows and a quilt were stored. There was a rug in front of the fireplace and he started making a pallet to sleep on for the night.

“I’m sorry you don’t have a bed here, Ben.”

He looked up at her in the nightgown that covered her from neck to ankle but still somehow seemed inappropriate. “It’s OK, Rey...I have slept on worse.”

She cast her eyes down shyly. “Well...OK then. Goodnight.”

He just nodded to her. He laid down in his clothes. Usually, he just slept in his pants, but that didn’t seem right with Rey in the room. He laid on his side and faced the fire.

“Ben?” he heard her call out.

He turned to answer her, “Yes, Rey.”

“Thank you for arranging for this...it’s the most fun I’ve had in a long time.”

He felt his face break out in an honest to goodness smile. She couldn’t see it, but he knew it was there. It was so rare that he couldn’t recall the last time it made an appearance. “You are welcome, Rey. I had fun too. Goodnight.”

He heard the sheets rustling and then not long after heard her heavy, even breathing told him she was asleep.

It took him a while to fall asleep. He thought about the girl lying just a few feet away. She trusted so easily...at least him.

He had always cared about her, but the need to protect her was sprouting into something he couldn’t explain. He wished he could spoil her with many fun days and hotel rooms. He wanted to buy her things, and make her life easier.

For a while, when this all started, he told himself that he wanted to look after her like a sister. The trouble was, the more time he spent around her, his feelings for her were turning into something that definitely wasn’t brotherly.

Nope...not at all.

______________________________

The next morning Ben was up and reading again when she woke. She peeked and saw him sitting in the chair by the fire. But...she wasn’t quite ready to be up yet, so she screwed her eyes shut again and just laid there.

Rey secretly hated that he was always awake before her. It made her feel lazy. Truthfully, she felt lazy in many ways since he had come. He’d taken over more than half the work. Her whole life, before the crops, she had taken care of all the farm work. Papa Ben helped with a lot when she was younger, but then in her teens, his age had started to slow him down. She did it all.

And now she didn’t have to.

Part of her was relieved, and part was worried. How long would he really stick around? When would he get tired of working so hard in exchange for his freedom? Would he just take off? Then what would happen to her after she had gone soft and lazy in the work?

But...if she was truthful, she would admit to herself that the bigger problem with him leaving as that she would be alone again. Sure, they were more like co-workers than friends or anything. Last night at dinner, though, it had felt like they were friends. And that was nice.

But, now in the light of the morning, she wasn’t being truthful with herself...not completely. So she didn’t admit to herself that she would be lonely without him.

She didn’t.

__________________________

She woke with a start to the sensation of something brushing her cheek and hearing her name being called. Her eyes flew open, and she saw Ben stooped over her on the bed. She realized the sensation was his large hand grazing her face.

“Hey, sleepyhead. Are you ever going to wake up?” He was smiling down at her.

She sat up quickly, rubbing her eyes. “What time is it?” she asked. She winced as she heard the sleepy tightness in her voice.

“Eight-thirty.” She groaned at the amusement she heard in his voice.

She rubbed her eyes and snapped, “It’s not funny.”

“It...it kind of is. But, I’m not really laughing at you. In fact, I’m glad you rested well. You work too hard.”

She raised an eyebrow as she looked up at him. “I don’t work as hard as I used to...and you work harder than I do and you didn’t sleep in.”

He didn’t deny it. “But you did it all alone for a long time...I think you have earned yourself at least one day to sleep in. Besides...you have that big comfy bed and you are on your honeymoon.” His wry smile conveyed his amusement at that last word.

Of course, she had slept well in that big fluffy bed...and he slept on the floor. She instantly felt guilty.

“Ben...I’m sorry about all of this and you having to sleep on the floor.”

“It’s okay, Ayita.”

She looked at him in confusion. “What is that word?”

His eyes looked out the window, wistful. “It’s from another time...it means little one in Lakota. It’s what the Sioux often call children.” He looked back to her. “C’mon...go get dressed and we’ll get some breakfast.”

Rey sat there in shock as he walked away. How did he know Sioux words? Did he know the natives? The ones who found her?

Then...on its heels, she wondered at the sting of the definition of the word, and that he thought of her as a child.


	6. Shopping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey finally gets some answers about her past...and some clothes!

He was quiet all through breakfast. She thought about asking him more, but he seemed distant and pensive.

Finally, he looked up at her and seemed to register her presence. He started talking, and his voice was businesslike.

“We are going to a shop down the street I know to get you a few things, then to a men’s clothing store. The general store is next to that where we can get some other supplies before we head out tomorrow. I figure we should leave early in the morning so we can get home before dark.”

She nodded, but then furrowed her brow and chewed her lip. “You don’t need to buy me anything, Ben.”

“I know that...but I’m going to, Rey.” His tone told her that discussion was over.

He could tell that something about this was bothering her. Was it just him buying her things?

“What is it?”

She looked down at her lap. “It’s just...I mean...buy things and this hotel. Where did you get money from?”

Realization dawned on him. “Are you worried about criminal activity involved in my funds?”

Her eyes stayed down and she nodded her head.

He sighed. It was a fair assumption. He realized he needed to have a conversation with her sooner than later about all of that.

“I’d rather not explain it all to you right now...here...but please trust me when I say that this money isn’t tainted. I have resources outside of my previous...activity...from my family. Luke is helping me access that.”

He saw the sigh of relief come over her. “Oh.”

He nodded and walked up to the counter to pay their bill. He hated that. He hated that she even had to question that in him. He rubbed the back of his neck with his palm, deciding that they needed to have a chat later today. A long chat.

___________________________________

Rey had never felt lazier in her life. First sleeping in like she had, now spending the day shopping. She felt guilty about leaving Luke to watch her livestock while she spent two frivolous days away.

She had only ever been to Rose’s shop. She had no idea so many kinds of stores even existed. There was a hat shop, a jewelry store, multiple clothing stores, a hardware store. It was stunning that this all existed.

Ben guided her into a store she saw was called “Penelope’s” from the shingle out front. As they stepped inside, she took in the sea of dresses and other clothing items around her. She had never imagined such a place. She had only ever had homemade dresses from ladies in the church or herself.

A blonde woman, near Rey’s age, approached them. “May I help you?” Rey didn’t miss the appreciative gaze the woman directed at Ben.

Rey remembered when she was 10 she had found a beautiful, shiny marble on the prairie. It was her most treasured possession. When she took it to school one day, one of the boys had snatched it out of her hands and tried to keep it before she told the teacher and Mrs. Bright had made him give it back. She never forgot the feeling of her marble in that boy’s grubby hand.

She had that same feeling now, and she unconsciously shifted closer to Ben.

She watched Ben raise his hat with one hand and felt him snake his other arm around her shoulders. “Ma’am...we are looking for a few items for my wife.”

Just like that, the ache in her being that had risen in the other woman’s appreciation of him turned warm and soft instead, radiating from where Ben’s hand rested possessively on her shoulder. She saw the face of the girl fall a bit before she recovered and replied.

“Of course, sir. I am Hillary. What kinds of items are you looking for?”

He put the hat back on his head and responded. “We are the Solos. I think a dress, a blouse, and a skirt...maybe some undergarments?”

Rey could feel the heat rise in her cheeks. Had he really just said undergarments?

“Of course. Would you like to look around, or would you rather I make some suggestions?”

He looked down at her, searching for clues to her preference in her face.

He was still looking at her when he responded, “I think we will look around first, Hillary...thank you.”

He bent his head down to whisper in her ear, “What colors do you like?”

She looked around and ignored the sensation of his breath on her ear. “Green...I like green...and blue.”

He nodded and straightened back up. He glanced back at the salesgirl, and she realized he was trying to distance them from her lest she see how little they knew of each other. From his higher vantage point, he looked around and then steered her towards a nearby rack. She saw a few different shades of green there. A sprigged calico in a lovely grass green caught her eye.

She turned to look for Hillary and asked, “How does this work? I mean...I’ve never had a store bought dress before. How does it fit me?”

The other woman walked over to her and took a dress off the rack. “We have them made in a few different sizes that can usually be adjusted easily. We do custom orders also, but that takes a bit longer. Which one do you like?”

Rey pointed to the one that caught her eye and Hillary unhooked it to hold it up to her, assessing it with her trained eye.

“This one looks pretty close. It might be a big bit, but I think it would be an easy adjustment. Why don’t you go try it on so I can see? Then I can measure you so we can do the alterations.”

Rey nodded, and the girl continued. “If you come over here, I can show you the blouses and skirts. That is easier since you can get different sizes for each piece.”

Ben spoke up, “Maybe a white blouse and a navy skirt? She likes blue too.”

Rey looked up at him bewildered by his attention to women’s clothing, but also somehow pleased that he wanted to prove to this woman that he knew her. She didn’t even register the smile that broke out across her face as she looked up at him.

He watched her walk away with the blonde girl toward the fitting room. He felt...he wasn’t sure what he felt. That big, pure smile on her face felt like it did something to his innards. It reminded him of when he was a boy and used a magnifying glass in the sun to try to catch twigs on fire.

Rey was the sun, and that smile became the glass that warmed him...threatening to burn.

He had to get a grip.

____________________________

Hillary had assured him that her things would be delivered to the hotel by 6:00 that evening. He watched from across the store as they had picked out a few unmentionables. He got as far away from that as he could. He also had added a heavy navy wool coat and boots to her haul. They left it all there to be delivered later as they continued their shopping.

Albert’s Fine Men’s Emporium was another first for Rey. She had never seen men’s clothing like this. Ben greeted the man and explained briefly what he was looking for. The gentleman directed him to the other side of the store.

Rey watched him move around and select items in confidence and control. He had been different with her. He was...soft, somehow. He looked to her to say what needed to be done and he did it. But here...here she was seeing a different side. He was in command, if only over clothing, and it was a new side of him she was seeing.

She chewed her lip and tried to decide if she liked it or not...she was leaning towards the former.

Ben ducked back in the fitting room to try on a suit. She wasn’t sure what he needed a suit for. She waited on the chair for him outside the dressing room.

He emerged a few minutes later and her breath caught. He was in a black three-piece suit with a white shirt and charcoal grey cravat. She recognized how handsome he looked in this more formal attire...and then simultaneously realized how at home he appeared in them as well. Ironically, he looked more comfortable in them than in his work clothes.

The tailor had come out to make some markings. The waist needed taking in and the length needed adjusting. Ben made a few comments and looked it all over in the mirror before nodding his approval.

He added two wool shirts, two cotton shirts, and two pairs of work pants to his pile. One was a dark grey color, and one was a blue material Rey had never seen before. Her curiosity showed on her face.

“It’s denim. They were originally made for miners, but they are comfortable and durable.”

She nodded, and he sensed a bit of longing in her appraisal of them.

He added more boxers, long underwear, socks, a coat, and black boots. They also promised them to be delivered to the hotel by closing, so they left and moved on to the next stop.

“Are you hungry?”

She sheepishly admitted she was. They had walked around a lot that morning, and she was always hungry.

He took her hand and led her to the general store next door. She liked how warm his hand felt engulfing hers.

He bought some cheese and a loaf of fresh bread for them to munch on as they walked around and looked. She had squealed over the fresh lemonade she saw at the counter, and he promised her some when they were done.

He had taken a basket at the entrance and was now filling it. She saw him drop shaving supplies, a few toothbrushes, tooth powder, a hairbrush, and soap in.

“You know, Tico’s has most of these things too.” She felt a little guilty shopping at a store that wasn’t helping out her friends.

“I know...and we will shop there in the future, but I like the selection of brushes and shaving things here better.”

She nodded and looked around behind her.

She didn’t see him add a pair of tortoiseshell combs and a silver-handled brush and comb to his basket.

“Rey...is there anything you need here?”

She shook her head and walked down the aisle. The aisle ended at a counter, and as she looked at the wall behind it, she realized it was a weapon desk. Various sizes of guns and knives were on display in the case and on the wall.

“Ma’am...may I help you?”

“Oh...no, I was just looking.” She could never imagine that so many different kinds of guns existed. She had the shotgun at home, and Poe had a small revolver as sheriff, but that was the extent of her knowledge of them.

She heard Ben walk up behind her. “See anything you like?”

She knew he was there, but still startled at his voice so close to her ear. “I was just looking...there are so many of them.”

Ben set down the basket and motioned to one on the wall he asked to see.

“That is a fine firearm, sir. That is the Smith & Wesson model 1889. It uses the .38 special cartridges.”

He released the chamber, spinning it around to show all the chambers before clicking it back in place. He handed it to Rey.

“What do you think.”

She swallowed, realizing how comfortable his hands were with a gun. He handled it like it was automatic for him.

She looked down at the weapon in her hand and couldn’t help but be impressed by it. It was weighty enough to show it’s severity but light enough to handle easily. The 6 chambers allowed a faster response than her shotgun.

“It’s lovely.” She said simply.

She looked up to see Ben’s eyes on her. She couldn’t read his expression. It was far away...and yet warm. She also detected some apprehension there.

He took it from her and handed it back to the man. “Maybe next time.”

He took his purchases to the counter and quietly checked out. He bought their lemonade and they sat on the back porch of the store to drink it.

Ben was quiet. Something about that gun in Rey’s hand had rocked him. It was like his former life intersecting with her and he didn’t like it. He wanted to protect her...not let that part of him touch her.

She sat nursing her drink for a few moments before she spoke softly.

“I’ve used a gun before, Ben. And, I likely will again.”

“I know you have had to before, but I’d like to think you don’t have to now,” he grumbled.

He took a swig of the bittersweet liquid before continuing. “I would like to forget about who I am and what I’ve done...but seeing you there...with that…”

He was silent for a few minutes before continuing. “What if all of that catches up to me, Rey. What if it does and they get to you too?”

She reached over to him and put her hand on his forearm, rubbing the bare skin there with her calloused fingertips. “You aren’t that man anymore, Ben.”

He looked off in the distance, his jaw clenching and twitching. “But I am...Rey. Kylo is always lurking there under the surface.”

Her fingers stilled, but she kept her hand there. “Well, I don’t see him. I see a hard-working, kind, caring man.”

She lifted her hand from his arm and pulled his chin so he faced her. “No matter what you have done, you choose what you do from here on, Ben. You. And if your past catches up to you, we will face it together. That is what family does.”

She watched the transformation of his eyes as they melted from fear into ooey-gooey softness. “It’s nice to think of you as my family, Rey. I like that we have each other.”

Her breath hitched when he lifted the hand on his chin to his lips and softly kissed it.

__________________________________

Their items all arrived just as they made their way back to the hotel. Ben had wanted to go to the hardware store and was asking them about plumbing. He left with a Sears catalog and some knowledge he didn’t have before about it all.

They had then walked to the blacksmith about new shoes for Bebe. The manager sent one of his apprentices over to the stables to see about that. And, lastly, they went to the bank to withdraw her funds.

“Why don’t you go take a bath and get dressed in something new...let me take you somewhere nice tonight.”

He went to clean-up quickly first. He came out dressed in just his new suit pants. She had seen him without a shirt before, but something about him shirtless in the enclosed room just felt different...more intimate.

She went to take a bath. As she was soaking in the warm water, she realized that something in her and Ben’s relationship had shifted today. She felt like she knew him better...was just aware of him in a different way.

When she was dressed in her new green dress and drying her hair, she started to plait it into her usual bun. She stopped, though, and instead chose to leave it in loose waves down her back, just catching the sides back off her face instead.

When she stepped back into the room, he looked up and a lazy smile worked up his face to his eyes. “Sampa…”

He could see the confusion on her face at the words he kept using...he couldn’t help it, with her.

“At dinner, Rey...I will explain everything over dinner…”

_____________________________

After they ordered, Ben folded his hands together and looked at her. “What do you remember from when you were little? About when you came to live with Old Ben?”

She shrugged. “Not a lot, really. I would try to ask him, over the years, but he never wanted to talk about it. I didn’t know who else would know anything.

He nodded. “They knew...they just didn’t want to tell you.”

He started again. “You don’t know this, but before we moved back to Chicago, I was very close to the Sioux people who used to live just outside of town. They have since moved on, but at that time, my best friend was a boy I called ‘Ee-oon'-kah Tah-tohn'-kah’ or ‘Running Bull’...I called him Bull for short. I spent a lot of time with his people. They taught me things about their culture and their language. Eventually, I became fluent in Lakota. Those are the words that keep popping out with you. I think because you were such a part of that time in my life also.”

Her brow was furrowed, but she stayed quiet as he continued.

“I was with them the day Tiny Mouse...I called her Maz, found you. She was the healer in the tribe, and she had been out collecting herbs when she heard a child crying. You were a ways off, but when she got to you, she could see that you were starving. And, across the prairie, she found the remains of your camp. Your parents were...well, they were there. They were emaciated as well. We can’t be sure, but it appeared that they drank themselves to death.”

She struggled to hold back tears. She probably should have told him to wait--wait until they were back at the room. But she held them in and nodded for him to continue.

“Maz kept you for a few days, but then told me that I needed to take you to town to see if some of your own kind would be willing to take you in. She was an old woman, and so many things were changing with the Sioux people. She just felt it was for the best. She adored you, though, and I would often see her watching you when you would play in the yard. She called you ‘Omáshte Ishtá’...it means sunshine eyes. She said even when you were starving, your eyes looked like they had sunshine spilling out from them.”

“I would watch over you. I felt like when Maz entrusted you to me, to find someone to take care of you, that you were my responsibility. I tried to get my mom to adopt you, but she knew the move might be coming soon, and you weren’t well enough yet to travel. You were really sick that first year. Maybe that is why you don’t remember much.”

Rey finally found her voice. “That...that is why Luke knew I was safe with you.”

He nodded. “No matter what I’ve done or who I have become, I could never intentionally hurt you, Rey. But that is what scared me today. I might still be responsible for hurting you inadvertently if my past comes back to haunt me. They could use you to get to me.”

She leaned across the table and tentatively grabbed his hand. “We’re in this together, Ben.”

He didn’t look up from their joined hands and murmured, “I will do my best to protect you and keep you safe. But, I’m glad I am here. I know it’s been hard since Old Ben had been gone, But, you’re not alone anymore, Rey.”

“Neither are you, Ben...and I know you will,” she whispered back.

________________________

She felt like she needed to claw her skin off. The hot sun beat down on her and she felt dizzy from hunger.

“Mama...Papa?’ she called, terror rising in her.

She found them in relief, but then the fear prickled back against her spine. They wouldn’t wake up...why wouldn’t they wake up?

“Mama….mama….” she wailed as she shook Mama’s body. “Mama, please wake up...please wake up...please don’t leave me…”

_________________________

Ben woke on alert to the noises that were just started to coalesce across his conscience. Rey...Rey was in trouble.

Wait...no. She wasn’t in trouble...she was safe in the room in Rapid City with him...what was wrong?

He sat up and saw her moaning and writhing on the bed. “Mama..” she groaned.

He jumped up then, calling himself every kind of fool. Now he knew what was going on. He had caused this. He knew she needed to know the truth, but could he have done it better? Could he have shared it kinder?

He saw her in agony on the bed, hovering over her now feeling helpless and to blame. He tried speaking soothing words over her, but she was too far in the trauma of her dream to hear him.

He gently shook her shoulders. “Rey...Rey, you are safe. Please wake up.” he called to her, pleading with her to stop.

Her eyes flew open, and he saw the eyes he remembered from that day. The eyes of a haunted, scared, starving little girl. They were the eyes that made him forgo his teenage angst for a while to make him look after a little girl. And now, now they propelled him to gather her in his arms as he sat down on the bed. He cradled her and rocked her, just like he wished he could have done that day. He crooned in her ear that it was just a dream and it was all over, but she still shook all over.

He tucked her head under his chin and just held her tight, leaning back against the pillows to let her relax against his chest.

As he held her there, he knew without a doubt that there was nothing he loved as much in the world as her. There was nothing he wouldn’t do for her, whether that was protecting her or doing something small to bring that sunshine smile to her face.

“It’s OK, Omáshte...I’ve got you. I will never let anything hurt you again.” His arms rubbed soothing circles over her back, willing her to calm down. She eventually did.

He loved her. He knew something had been creeping, lurking around in his heart for weeks. But, he pushed it down, using his claims of unworthiness to strengthen pushing the feelings back into the shadows.

Right before he fell asleep, it dawned on him that even that wasn’t true. The truth was, he had lost his heart fifteen years ago when Maz brought that little girl with the sun in her eyes to the tribe and asked him to find her a home.

He knew now what he knew then. He...he wanted to be her home. He wanted to be her family. But now it was too late. Too much had happened, and he had become a tainted man that wasn’t good enough for her. So he would do what he could do, which was take care of her. That he could do.

He could be her home...but that is all.

__________________________

For once, Rey was up first. Through the cobwebs of her mind, she remembered last night. She shuddered at the dream, but then remembered Ben taking care of her...holding her.

He still was.

She felt the weight of his arms caging her in. She wasn’t pulled into him, but his protective posture was obvious. She opened her eyes and saw his face there, just a few inches away. Ben often looked so serious. He had treated her sporadically to a smile, but most often he was grim. She realized that made him look older.

Now in the morning light, she could see his features softened. She wished she could reach out and touch his face, but she didn’t want to wake him. And what would she do, what would she say, if he woke up and caught her. She would be mortified.

So she just continued to look. But, people tend to know when they are being watched, and the looking made him start to stir.

“Hi,” she gently greeted him.

He sighed. “Hi...I’m sorry.”

Her eyebrows crowded together just over her nose. “Why are you sorry? You comforted me and helped me...that is nothing to be sorry for.”

“But...I fell asleep here, Rey...that’s not right.”

Her face fell. “Oh...right…”

He sat up quickly. “I’m also sorry for telling you all that last night. It obviously upset you.”

She sat up and put her hand on his shoulder. “Don’t apologize for that, Ben. You are the first person that told me the truth about what happened to me...what happened to my parents. It was hard to hear, but don’t you dare apologize for being honest with me about something I’ve wondered about my whole life.

His eyes stayed lowered, and he just nodded at her before he got up and went to the bathroom.

She was left on the bed, wondering what had just happened. There had been times recently that she thought she could sense feelings for her that were more husbandly in nature. But then just now...he said it wasn’t right...why is that?

She thought back to their conversation last night and the things he said about protecting her and keeping her safe. Suddenly it hit her. He cared about her like a sister and nothing more. He said he even tried to get Leia to adopt her.

He wasn’t her brother, but he thought of himself that way and anything else in his mind was wrong.

She felt a pang in her heart. She didn’t want him to see her as a little sister...she wanted him to see her as a woman. But, if he didn’t feel that way?

They quietly prepared for their journey home. The restaurant left them a basket with food for the road, per Ben’s request.

They didn’t talk on the drive home. They went through the motions of travel and then unloading back at the farm. As Rey put their purchases away in her room, she resolved to work to make him see her as more, as truly his wife.

In his room, he was going through the same motions. He resolved to be everything she needed and take care of her, no matter what, all the while tamping down the love and desire that was there.

This was going to be...complicated.


	7. Home Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Others are starting to see what Ben and Rey can't

After morning chores, Ben told her he wanted to go into town. He needed to talk to Luke, and he wanted her to take the money to the bank. It wasn’t safe lying around. He also wanted to talk to Rose about something.

They went to the bank first. When they handed Rey receipt with “paid in full” written across it, and recorded the deed, her face just beamed. She hugged him as soon as they were outside. He embraced her, but then quickly moved out of her arms.

“Good job, Omáshte. You did it.”

She shook her head. “No...we did it.”

“I just helped a bit at the end...you did all the hard work plowing and growing. I’m proud of you.”

Inwardly she grimaced. “Good job” and “proud of you” were things you would say to a little sister.

Suddenly, she didn’t want to be around him.

“I think I’m just going to go to Luke’s now...I’ll meet you there.”

He watched her go and wondered at the cool tone. He ran his hand through his hair and headed to Tico’s with the catalog he got in Rapid City in hand.

__________________________

Rose smiled at him this time. He mused that the townsfolk must be getting used to having him around.

He laid out for her what he was planning, and all the pieces he would need. She could get the lumber and parts for him.

“Ben - this is crazy. I’ve never seen anything like this.”

“Well Rose, if all goes well, maybe you will have more customers requesting the same things.”

She looked back at his drawing wistfully. “Maybe...it sure is a nice idea.”

He sighed. “I hope it works...I really want to make something nice for her. She deserves it.”

Rose cocked her head to the side and looked up at him. “You like her.”

He froze as he was folding the paper back up to put in his pocket. “That is irrelevant, Rose. It’s never going to happen.”

“Why?” she asked her voice kind but probing.

His eyes lowered and he tapped the counter before he turned to leave. He paused by the door and responded sadly, “Because I don’t deserve her.”

Rose watched her friend’s husband walk away, and muttered to herself, “Oh...it’s way worse than I thought. He’s in love with her!”

________________________

Mara was always kind to Rey. She had her own colorful backstory before the met and fell in love with Luke...and the Lord. She was real and fun...not a stuffy pastor’s wife.

“So, Sunny...how is it going?”

Rey smiled at the nickname she gave her 10 years ago when she had moved to town. Rey was a precocious, curious 10-year-old. She saw things others didn’t see...like when she picked up on the mutual yet undeclared attraction to Luke.

“You gonna marry Uncle Luke?” she had asked her accusingly one day.

“Oh...well...no…”

“But you and he are always lookin’ at each other. You look at him like Papa Ben looks at cinnamon rolls.”

Rey smiled at the memory and pulled her thoughts back to the present. She rubbed at the edge of her teacup, trying to decide what to tell.

“Well...it turns out that he was there when I was found. Well, right after, anyway. He’s the one who brought me to town to look after me. Said an Indian lady he called Maz found me wandering around on the prairie next to my parents who drank themselves to death.’

Mara clasped her hand across the table. “Oh, sweetie…”

She sighed. “There is relief, though...in knowing and having closure. I don’t have to wonder anymore what happened.”

Mara nodded, eyes shining. “I remember her...Maz. She was the oldest person I think I have ever laid eyes on. She was kind, though. That probably explains why she would come around sometimes before they all moved away.

“It’s strange...you know? To have this man that is almost a stranger in my life, but he knows parts of my life better than I do.”

“Is he...I mean...is it going okay? Are you okay?”

“I’m okay,” she shrugged. “I have learned that Ben has been looking over me almost my whole life. I am safe with him...he sees me as a little sister.”

Mara tilted her head, pondering her words, but remained silent.

“Anyway...yes, we are doing okay. Actually, better than okay. The crop brought in what I needed to pay off the mortgage...I got my deed today.”

Mara clapped her hands. “Rey...what an answer to prayer that is! I am so happy for you.”

Now a smile lit up her face...the one that had been hiding behind her hurt. “I know...I am so grateful. Now we can do what we want there. Farming maybe, but only for what we need.”

“I’m proud of you, Rey...that was a lot of work for you. Most people thought you couldn’t do it.”

Her eyes clouded over again. “I couldn’t have...without Ben. He has been working like a crazy man the last few months. There is no way I could have done it. He never stops, Mara. The back porch, back corner of the barn, and half of the cellar are full of firewood. Everything is mended--the fence, the roof, the house--everything. And, he has something up his sleeve now. I don’t know what it is, but he went to Tico’s on some sort of mission.”

Mara started to say something, but they heard the heavy footsteps of Ben entering the house just then. He stood in the doorway of the parlor and nodded at her. “Ma’am...Rey. Enjoying your visit?”

Mara nodded. “Yes - we sure are. We are celebrating the news about the mortgage.”

He gave a little half smile at that. “It’s a good day. Is Luke around?”

She motioned for him to go to his office down the hall.

He walked over and knocked on the door, even though it was open. “Bad time?”

“No...in fact, I was going to come to see you. Come in.”

Ben did so and shut the door.

“I had the money wired. It is at the bank, waiting for you to open an account. Also, I contacted Sabine and she was most grateful for the donation. She said to tell you the generous amount let her open another house in a needed area she’s been wanting to expand into. She wants to name it after Grandma Padme.”

He nodded and smiled a bit, remembering his gracious grandmother. “She would have liked that.”

“So…” Luke started with his eyes twinkling, “...how is married life.”

“It’s fine.”

Luke’s eyebrow shot up. “Yeah...I’m not buying that.”

Ben rubbed his hand over his face. “Really...it’s fine. We got enough from the crop for her to pay off the mortgage. We took care of that this morning. We got some much-needed supplies and clothes, I’m getting ready to add a bathroom to the house. It’s great.”

Luke just looked at him.

“And...I told her the truth...about when we found her. She took it pretty well. She had a nightmare that night...but other than that, it’s good.”

“So you told her...when you were at the hotel?”

He nodded.

“How did you know she had a nightmare?”

Ben’s eyes flew up. He was smirking. Wasn’t that….unpastoral or something? It seemed like it should be.

“Because I was there,” he said, his voice low and tense.

Now both of Luke’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh.” was all he said.

He gritted his teeth. “It’s not like that, Luke. Someone we met introduced us to the desk clerk, told him we were on our honeymoon...it just snowballed out of our control. I slept on the rug by the fire.” He certainly wasn’t going to tell him what happened after her dream.

“Well...that’s a relief. I mean...how horrible would that be, with her being your wife and all.”

That angered him. “Listen, uncle...it’s not like that. Rey is untouchable to me. I am not a good person...you know that better than anyone in this town. I don’t deserve her love.”

Luke sat back in his chair and rested his tented hands on his chin. “Amazing...every word you just said was wrong.”

Ben just shook his head and rested it on his palms.

“Rey is not untouchable to you...you are not a bad person, though I do know that better than everyone else. You were lied to and seduced to the dark by a mastermind manipulator. He preyed on you like a lion does a straggling antelope. Your family has known that and forgiven you for whatever part you had in it a long time ago. And, the truth is, no one deserves love. It’s a gift. It has to be given freely, not worked for like a debt or indenturement.”

“Are you preaching at me now, old man? Is this why you wanted me back? To say you forgive me? To save my soul?”

“No.”

He raised his eyes up to meet Luke’s. He saw in the lines of his face both joy and regret. His eyes were different now than they were before he left those many years ago. Before they were full of cocky bravado, the young minister who was going to save the world. The eyes that ridiculed him and reminded him of his many sins, demanding he repent had faded. Now they were tempered with time, wizened with everything life had brought.

“I need to get Rey and get to the bank. Thank you for your help with all of that, Uncle.”

Luke just nodded. Ben was almost out the door when he called out to him. “Hey, Ben...I just want to say...I’m proud of you. I know this hasn’t been easy for you.”

Ben looked over his shoulder to him. “You have no idea, Uncle.”

Ben went back to the parlor. “Mara...could you give Rey and I a minute?” he asked.

He looked back and forth between the two women, feeling like he interrupted something.

He sat down next to Rey on the couch. “I need to talk to you about something, and then we have one more errand to run.”

She nodded, not looking at him.

“So...the other day you were asking me about the money. The truth is, Rey, that I have a sizeable amount of money that is part of inheritances from my grandparents. I think you know about Leia’s real and adoptive parents, right?”

She nodded again...and he was starting to wonder if she was going to speak to him at all. What did he do?

He sighed and continued. “Well, anyway...the truth is, I never needed the money I got from Snoke. I kept it in an account and never touched it. Last week I had Luke transfer the funds to a woman that does some sort of rescue mission in the city…”

She finally looked at him. “You mean Sabine?”

“Yeah...how do you know her?” he asked, puzzled.

“Luke has had her come and share...at church. She talked about what she does for the girls. It’s heartbreaking. I often wondered...I mean, if Maz hadn’t found me and Papa Ben hadn’t taken me in...it’s not beyond the scope of reason that could have been me.”

Ben had a sharp intake of breath when she said that. The idea of that was nearly physically painful for him.

“Well...you will be happy to know, then, that gangsters money just funded another house for Sabine’s work.”

“Truly? That is wonderful! What a generous thing to do, Ben.”

He shrugged. “And, the reason why I never touched it is that I have my own money. Most of it is still back in the main bank in Chicago, but I had some of it transferred here. It’s at the bank in town. We need to go over there and open an account...a joint account.”

“No, Ben...I can’t do that. It’s your money.”

‘Well, what’s mine is yours now. I want your name on the account. You are my wife.”

She snorted with some sort of little laugh. “Sure, Ben...whatever you want.”

He sensed her irritation but didn’t push it any further. “So...should we go say our goodbyes?”

They stood to go find Luke and Mara. Rey hugged them both and turned to the door. Ben just nodded to them and followed her.

“Oh...Ben...Rey...you will be at the harvest barn dance Saturday, right?” Mara asked. Rey rolled her eyes, and Ben thought her tone sounded just a bit too sweet.

“Harvest barn dance?” he asked? This was the first he was hearing of it.

“Sure...it’s a tradition here. It’s a celebration of the harvest and all the blessings the Lord has brought this season. Everyone goes.”

Rey stayed quiet, leaving it for Ben to respond. “Well, if everyone goes, I reckon…”

Mara cut him off before he could finish. “Wonderful. We’ll look forward to seeing you there.”

Before either one of them could respond any further, the older couple had scurried back into the house and slammed the door.

Ben just looked at the door, a bit stunned at what he agreed to. The prospect of spending a night dancing with Rey both thrilled and terrified him. Somehow that seemed much worse than living with her….or sharing a hotel room with her…

“Were you planning to tell me about this?” he queried.

“I assumed you wouldn’t be interested, husband.” She said that last word with just a hint of disdain. Again, Ben wondered what he did. He decided that figuring out Rey was beyond his ability, and he motioned for her to go down the steps first as they walked to the bank.

__________________________

The ride home was silent, but Rey’s head was not.

Angry. She felt angry at him. She couldn’t put her finger on exactly why, but she was annoyed. And then, to have her go open an account...with ONE THOUSAND dollars in it. She couldn’t even imagine that much money. And he said that wasn’t even all of it.

How could he want to have her as part of that account, and trust her with all that money when he felt the way he felt about her? Why had he even agreed to all of this? Did he not want to fall in love? Get married for real? Have children?

She could release him...what was that called...annulment? That’s what people did, right? When they hadn’t…

And now, Mara had to go and tell him about that stupid dance. They had to pretend all night, right? But...pretend what? Was anyone buying this marriage thing?

She let out a long, labored breath. Yeah...she was angry.


	8. Just Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will the barn dance bring romance or just more confusion?
> 
> If you haven't already, be sure to click on "subscribe" so you are notified of chapter updates!

On Saturday morning, Ben stayed out longer than usual tending the animals. Rey had been giving him the silent treatment for days. He didn’t know what he did.

He couldn’t even put his finger on when it had all gone awry. They got back from the city...really, that was when it started. The day they left. He had fallen asleep holding her, then the next morning this had all started.

It’s really no surprise, right? After all, when she offered to marry him, she clearly said she needed help on the farm. And, he had done that...and now her debt was paid. Was she done with him?

But then...why was she mad at him? She had been stomping around like an angry hornet. If she got what she wanted out of the deal, and he delivered it, shy was she mad?

Betsy grunted at him and flicked her tail in his face. He realized his thoughts were affecting his grip and she wasn’t appreciative of the extra pressure he was milking her with. He patted her rear flank.

“Sorry girl…”

____________________________

Rey smoothed down the fabric of the green dress. For some reason, she felt nervous. She wasn’t sure why…

She had used her small looking glass to put her hair up. She patted it one last time, then sighed and opened her door to walk out.

Ben was in the great room already, pacing by the fireplace. He was in his suit, and she tried hard not to notice how handsome he looked. But, the harder she tried, the more it felt like a herd of butterflies was rumbling through her tummy.

It wasn’t fair...under the circumstances...to have someone that looked that good, be married to him...and nothing was there. 

She huffed and headed for the door. She felt him place his hand on her arm to stop her. When she turned to him to question why and then dropped her eyes down to his hand, he removed it and offered her his arm.

“Milady…” he said, the deep timbre of his voice dancing across her senses.

Nope...it was not fair at all.

____________________________

Rey stood nursing some apple cider off the side. Ben was over talking to Luke. Their conversation looked too entirely serious for a country barn dance.

“Hey, stranger...how are you?” Rose asked after bumping their hips together.

She sighed a bit. If she could tell anyone what was going on, it was Rose. But, she didn’t even know where to start, or if this was the place.

“I...I am fine.”

Rose eyebrows raised in disbelief. “Fine?”

She just took another drink and tried not to let her eyes wander across the room, but that man was a magnet to her.

Rose watched the path of her eyes and nodded. “Ah...I see. Wow...Rey...that is your husband?”

Rey sighed again, louder this time. “Yep...that is my thug hubby.”

“He’s come in the shop a few times...but he didn’t look like that,” Rose said appreciatively.

Suddenly, her eyes turned back to Rey. “Hey...did you get a new dress?”

Sheepishly she nodded. “I’m sorry, Rose. He bought it for me in Rapid City.”

“You mean a ready-made dress? Why are you apologizing?”

“Whenever I buy anything anywhere else, I feel guilty. It was nice, though, to get something already made.”

“It looks lovely on you, Rey. You don’t need to feel bad about getting things I don’t have to sell anyway...especially when your handsome hubby got them for you!”

“Rose!”

The smaller girl turned wide, too innocent looking eyes to her. “I mean...if you have to marry a bank robber...he might as well look like that, right? But, we really shouldn’t talk about him that way. The point of the clause is to expunge one’s record...redeem it, right?”

Rey looked down at her cider, her eyes dripping sadness. “I don’t know if he will ever feel that way. He works around the farm like he’s possessed...like he’s trying to earn what I already gave him. Besides, we aren’t married that way. He has been very clear that his feelings for me are of a protective older brother. He was actually there, Rose...when they found me…”

Now Rose’s eyes grew huge genuinely. “Wow. That is amazing! So...he was able to tell you more?”

Rey just nodded, then hesitated for a minute. “That is how Luke knew I would be safe with him. For the first year, he looked over me. He was a teenager, and was very protective of me.”

“Awhhhhh...what a great story, Rey. He was your savior...now he’s your husband.”

“In name only, Rose...in name only.”

Ben and Luke’s conversation ended, and he started to trek across the room to her. He nodded to Rose, “Miss Tico--you look lovely tonight.”

“Thank you, Mr. Solo. You look...nice as well.”

He started to say something else, but the music started just then and he clamped his mouth shut.

Rose nodded at them and yelled out, “I’m going to go find Finn.”

She left Rey and Ben there, looking awkward. When the song began in earnest, he held his hand out to her. So they danced.

She was surprised to discover what a good dancer Ben was. Whether it was the lively reels or a softer waltz, he expertly led her across the floor. The latter was what they were currently swaying to. The music was softer, and the dance called for bodies to be closer.

Ben’s body oozed warmth and it beckoned her closer. She had to remind herself that propriety demanded she not sink into him. She really wanted to. Her hand in his warm palms, and his other on her waist. This was the closest they had been since that night she had her nightmare.

She felt his hand tighten on her waist. She could close her eyes, and just for a minute, forget that this was all she would have. It wasn’t bad, to have Ben around as a companion and work partner. But, her heart yearned for more. What, she wasn’t exactly sure of, but what they had seemed like not enough.

She chanced a glance up at his face. She couldn’t read his expression really, but she thought it looked sad, and his jaw was clenched. _Was it really so miserable to have to be around her?_

She dipped her head back down and closed her eyes. Tears were threatening to spill out. Maybe having him around...to have a taste of what she could never eat...was bad after all.

He cleared his throat. “I need to talk to you on the way home.”

She just nodded, unwilling to look up at him and not trusting her voice.

The dance was over and he walked her back over to the sidelines. “Would...would you like some pie or cake?” he asked softly.

She shook her head, sure that the constriction in her throat would not allow her to swallow anything right now.

He hesitated before walking to the dessert table. “As you wish.”

She stood up against the wall on the side, taking deep breaths.

“May I have this dance?” She looked up to see Luke. She felt relief course through her and took his hand.

Once they settled in the slow rhythm of the dance, he asked, “How are you doing, Sunny?”

If it was anyone else, she would lie. But not to Luke.

“I’ve been better,” muttered.

“I noticed. Do you want to talk about it?”

“I don’t know if I want to...or even could.”

“That’s fair. I am wondering...does it have to do with your husband?”

She just nodded.

“Ah, sweet girl. I wish I could make it better.”

He just held her, and the tears came again unbidden.

________________________________

She just danced with Ben a few times more that night. Without conversation. He watched as she danced with several other men from town, including Poe. It was a reel, so not close, but he still didn’t like it.

Frustration was quelling up in him. On the one hand, he couldn’t act on his feelings for her. But on the other hand, he hated to think of her with anyone else...with anyone else’s hands on her, even in a chaste social dance.

She looked so lovely, and it was all he could do to not gather her tightly in his arms and declare his heart. How could he when he didn’t merit her favor.

So they sat in a quagmire where he couldn’t have her but didn’t want anyone else to have her either.

The voices haunted him in his mind. He would never be good enough...he could never erase his past. Murderer...thief…

But then another voice had been cropping up. This one questioned, what if what Luke said was right? What if love was a gift offered, no strings attached? What if love could overlook his past sins and embrace him anyway?

He had been pushing that voice back, but it was getting louder. And...this new development, maybe that would help to quiet that first voice just a bit.

___________________________________

Ben held the reigns as Bebe led them through the dark home.

“Luke had a letter from my mom today. Apparently, they captured Snoke and are bringing him to trial. They want me to go and testify, but also help with some evidence collection.”

“So you are leaving,” she stated quietly.

“For a few weeks. I should be back before the weather turns. I asked Finn to come work on something while I am gone, though.”

In the moonlight, he could see her face turn to him in question.

“It’s something I have been planning for a while...a gift for you. I am adding on a bathroom to the house.”

Her eyes got big and she breathed, “A bathroom?”

“Yeah...similar to the one in Rapid City. I have ordered all the parts - they are due in this week. Rose told me tonight that the lumber came. I leave in five days. Finn’s going to come to help me dig for the pipes and septic tank, then he will do the construction while I’m gone. When I get back, I will get everything installed.”

“That is very...very kind, Ben.”

“I’ve been planning it for a while. And, with the wedding coming up, Finn was excited to have some extra cash. He is getting ready to build a house in town for them after they get married.”

She looked at his face, the color of fresh milk with the bright illumination of the moon on it. When had he planned all of this? How long had he been talking to her friends when she wasn’t around?

“I didn’t know you had been talking to Finn.”

He smirked at her, “There is a lot you don’t know about me, Rey.”

“I suppose that is true…” she said wistfully out to the dark. _I wish it wasn’t true_ , she said to herself.

He worked so hard to take care of her. Even this...to have the only bathroom in Redemption. But what her heart really ached for he held out of her reach. She swallowed down.

“Thank you, Ben. It will be so nice. It is thoughtful, and it will be nice to have for winter.”

“You’re welcome, Rey. I hope we can get it all working by then.”

___________________________

Rey watched as them men worked digging. There were two different sets of pipes. The first ones would come up from their ground well to bring fresh water in. The second set would be the outflow that took the used water and waste away. About twelve feet past where the back of the room would be they dug for the septic tank. Ben explained that this invention was more sanitary that funneling the wastewater to a creek or on-ground.

She had bought some lemons from Rose when she was in town the day before and made some lemonade to take to the men. The nights were starting to cool, the days were still warm and digging was hard work.

She was excited to have the new room and have to navigate the outhouse in the winter months. But, mostly she was excited that it was something Ben wanted to do for her. She clung to the care that must be behind the effort he was putting out.

By the time she made it out with the lemonade, they were both shirtless and grateful for the refreshment. She tried not to stare at him. But, seeing Finn next to him, but smaller in height and stature just displayed Ben’s massiveness all the more.

She sighed and went back inside. That man did things to her she couldn’t explain.

____________________________

Finn watched in amusement at Ben’s eyes followed her back inside before settling on his glass in resignation.

“Does she know?” he asked.

Ben’s head snapped up. “Does she know what?”

“How you feel,” Finn stated simply.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Why not, friend?”

Ben snickered at the moniker. “Am I really a friend, Finn? And...because it just doesn’t. How I feel doesn’t matter.”

Finn’s face became serious. “I am willing...about the friend thing. Rey is a close friend, and I think you could use one. That wasn’t a joke. Again, why does how you feel about her not matter?”

His voice broke a bit, “Because I’m not good enough for her.”

Finn whistled. “Well...if we had to be good enough to be loved, we would all be alone...myself included.”

Ben shifted, taking a big drink of the cool liquid. “Maybe that is true for a run of the mill undeserving fellow like yourself, but I am at a different level.”

“Why don’t you let Rey decide if you are unreachable or not?”

Ben set his drink down and picked up the shovel. “Because I just can’t, Finn. That is how it must be.”

The other man let it slide for now. He didn’t want to make that mountain of a man mad. He felt sympathy for him, though. He wondered what it would take for him to think differently.

_________________________

He was having dinner that night with Rose. “I think he’s in love with her.”

She stopped eating. “Who...you mean, Ben?”

“Yeah...he does, but he won’t let himself admit it or act on it. He has this inner justice thing going on where he feels like he will never deserve her.”

Rose pushed her food around on her plate. “I thought that when he was in the store last week. Then, at the dance, Rey was upset. She didn’t outright say it, but she did fess us to being upset because he only saw her as a little sister.”

Finn laughed. “It is safe to say his feelings are definitely NOT sisterly towards her…”

“So he won’t tell her? Should we?”

He resolutely shook his head. “Absolutely not, Rose. We can’t stick out noses in. They need to figure this out on their own.”

She nodded...then sighed. “Do you think they ever will?”

He reached over and squeezed her hand. “I don’t know, Love...I don’t know.”

______________________

The men had made good progress and had finished laying the pipes and installing the septic. They lined the pipe trenches with wool to help insulate them from both the extreme cold and heat. They still might freeze in the winter, but it should help. They were even laying out the frame for the foundation when it was time for Ben to leave.

The night before he left, they were eating their meal in silence. It wasn’t awkward, though, since both of their minds were swimming with what they wish they could say.

Finally, Rey squeaked out. “I will miss you, Ben. It will be weird to be here alone again.”

When the word alone fell from her lips it yanked on his heart a bit. The last thing he wanted was for her to be alone, but he had to do this. He had to do what he could to take Snoke off the streets and out of business. Partially to save others from his evil...and partly to protect her.

“I will miss you too, Omáshte. I promise to try to finish and come back as soon as I can.”

He remembered something. “I forgot I have a little present for you.”

He went to his room and grabbed the brown paper parcel from the top of his dresser.

He set it in front of her on the table. “Open it.”

She looked at him and smiled before settling her attention on the package. Her smile hit him like a sucker punch. When was the last time he had seen that smile?

She pulled a garment in indigo blue from the wrapping. “Jeans?” she questioned, disbelieving.

He nodded. “I had that girl from the dress shop send your measurements to Albert’s so they could get the right size. I’ve had them for a while and kept meaning to give them to you, but since you will be back doing some of the work while I’m gone, I thought now was a good time.”

She nodded. “They are wonderful...thank you. I can’t wait to try them on.” Then she stopped and chewed on her lip for a minute before asking, “Ben...will...will you be in any danger, on this trip?”

His heart warmed at her concern. “I don’t think so. As far as the law is concerned, they are clearing my record in exchange for my testimony and help to round up more of the gang. I guess you never could be sure, though.”

“I’m worried,” she admitted.

Then he did something he had been resisting for some time. He got up and sat next to her on the bench. He reached over and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear before leveling his eyes with hers. “I won’t make promises I can’t guarantee, but I will tell you that as far as it depends on me and what is in my control, I will come back.”

He saw tears shimmering in her beautiful hazel eyes. He knew the fear in them well. He wrapped her in his arms in a fierce hug.

“When you were a little girl, you would often get upset when I left. You finally got past that, then it was time for us to move. You were crying, and I was hugging you, just like this, and I said, ‘I’ll come back for you, sweetheart. I promise.’ Then I never did. I’m more careful with my promises, now.”

She pulled back and peered up at him, sniffling. “But Ben...you did come back.”

“Yeah...but not of my own choice, and coming back for you shouldn’t have included you having to haul my sorry carcass out of jail and chain yourself to me for the rest of your life.”

She was stunned by his words and didn’t know what to say.

“Maybe...maybe this trip is where I will finally keep that promise.”


	9. Trial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben heads to Chicago for the trial...and Rey faces being alone.
> 
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He was gone before the sunrise. Luke offered to drive him to the closest town the train ran through. Just like that, Rey was alone again.

It was one thing when she lost Papa Ben. She was expecting his departure, being sick and all. But Ben...Ben has swept in and even in his distance, gave her a companionship she had come to rely on unwittingly.

No...she decided that even as hard as it was, to love him unrequited, it was still better with him there. Even when they weren’t talking...it was better. Even when he worked shirtless and made her heart flutter, it was better.

Because now...now she still felt all that angst she felt when he was here, but now she felt a new hollowness as well. Now she felt it all...and she was alone.

She quickly fell back into her routines, but now that the harvest was done, she had more time alone to notice she was alone.

Now that she knew different, the loneliness ached.

____________________________

Ben stepped off the train in Chicago and was greeted by the family English butler, Arthur.

“Master Ben...how good it is to see you!” he tutted as he reached to help Ben with his bags.

Once Ben saw how aged he was now, though, he refused. “It’s just a light bag, old friend. I have it. Where are you taking me?”

“Princess Leia insists that I bring you home first.”

Ben couldn’t help the smile at the moniker the old man had given his mother years ago, before sobering at the prospect of going back home.

Unfortunately, the ride was short and he didn’t have much time to contemplate his impending reunion with his parents. It had been eleven years since he has left without a backward glance.

They pulled up to the elegant brownstone mansion and Ben took a deep breath. He looked up to the stoop at the top of the entrance stairs and saw a small woman with grey hair standing there. It hits him like a sledgehammer that it was Leia.

“Mom?” he croaked out as he climbed the stairs.

When he got to the top, she reached out to touch his face. He had to bend down to allow her to reach him. Her face was lined and lines of sadness pulled around her eyes and mouth, but the strong brown eyes that mirrored his own remained fierce.

“I know what you are thinking...I changed my hair.”

He couldn’t even snicker at her joke. His eyes closed and he stifled a groan. “I’m so sorry…”

She shook her head, tears streaming down her face. “None of that now, Benjamin. You are home now...that is all that matters.”

He nodded and followed her as she turned to lead him inside. It was like stepping back into his past. A few items were different, like some new couches, or vase on the fireplace, but it was so achingly familiar. What he wished he could go back and tell his nineteen-year-old self.

She turned back to him. “Rey couldn’t come?”

He sighed. “I didn’t want...I mean...I didn’t think…” He gave up on that line of thinking. “She had to mind the farm.”

Leia’s wise eyes sparkled. “You aren’t telling me everything, Ben. That is OK for now. We can talk more about that later. For now, we need to get you to the station after you have a chance to freshen up. Your father has been there helping out with this case. Run along to your room and then we can go.

He obediently climbed the stairs and easily found his old room. The linens and curtains had changed, but the furniture was the same.

He sat on the bed and heaved out a deep breath. Should he have brought her? Luke has suggested it and even had a plan for the animals, but Ben had resolutely resisted. He didn’t want her here, just in case, things got things got dangerous. But, he also realized that he was embarrassed for her to hear it all. He knew she knew about his past life in general, but he really didn’t want her to hear the details that would come out in this trial.

He wasn’t sure why, though. He had already decided in his mind that he could never really have her, but then why did he care if she knew? Maybe he wasn’t as firm in the former conviction as he thought.

______________________________

Arthur dropped him and Leia off at the police station. They were instantly led to a large conference room in the back where several law enforcement officers and Han were having a heated discussion with the DA.

When the door opened and their attention turned to it, Ben saw his father and his breath hitched. Han seemed twenty years older, not ten. His hair was thinning a bit, and lines were deeply carved into his face.

“Ben,” his voice croaked, but he stayed in place. Ben knew now was not the time for an emotional reunion.

“Father,” he answered softly.

The DA turned his focus to Ben. “This is your son, Han? The one who worked for Snoke?”

Ben answered for him. “I am. Before my arrest a few months ago, I was Snoke's top associate in the western region. I am prepared to fully cooperate with whatever you need to bring him to justice.”

The other man stood and walked over to him. “I am Ransolm Casterfo, The district attorney for Chicago. I am prosecuting the Snoke case.” They shook hands and he continued, “Thank you for your willingness to help us here, Ben.”

“It’s my pleasure, sir. It is the least I can do to atone for my actions.”

“Yes...well...we are fine with leaving you in the custody of your parents, given your father’s position as a retired captain in the force. In exchange for your testimony and assistance, we are prepared to fully exonerate your record.”

“Thank you, sir. Even so...I would still do it. Snoke is the worst of men, and his mentorship of his network cannot be allowed to continue. Tell me what you need.”

That started a several hour meeting where Ben outlined the structure of Snoke’s organization to the best of his memory. He provided details of jobs, even documentation with dates from a journal he had started keeping the last three years. The DA’s eyes had lit up like a kid at Christmas when he realized Ben kept a journal.

Just before dinner, they called it a day. Ben joined his parents in their carriage back home.

“I know that wasn’t easy, son,” Han said in a gruff voice.

Ben just nodded. He was exhausted. He had no idea how much recalling all that would wear him out.

He looked out the window at the cityscape passing him by, and he could only think of Rey and wonder how she was doing.

_____________________________

Mara and Luke looked knowingly over Rey’s bent head at each other. She was leading the supper prayer. Maybe it was a wee bit sacrilegious for the pastor and his wife to not be paying mind to the prayer, but they were trying to tag team an intervention and needed a moment before she looked up again.

“Amen.”

They started to eat.

“So,” Luke began, “how is the farm?”

Rey was just playing with the food on her plate. “It’s fine...the animals are fine.”

“And...how are you?”

To their surprise, Rey burst into tears.

Their eyes met again, then Mara quickly went to her side. “Sunny...oh you poor dear.”

“It’s just...I got used to the loneliness, you know?” she hiccuped. “But then he came...and I wasn’t so lonely...and now he left. What if he doesn’t come back?” she whimpered.

Mara took a hankie and wiped at her tears. “Sweetie...he’s going to come back. Is this what has you so upset, though?”

“Mostly. I don’t want to talk about the other part. Besides...it’s never going to happen.”

“What won’t, dear?”

“He will always see me as that little girl he helped rescue. I don’t ever be anything else to him.”

Mara’s mouth fell. So that is what this was about.

“Is that what he told you, Rey?”

She just nodded. “Well...not in so many words, but he clearly communicated that his care for me is as a little sister.”

“That’s interesting…” Luke said thoughtfully.

“Huh? Why is that interesting?” she asked, brows furrowed in confusion.

“Because whenever my thickheaded nephew talks about you, it’s always from a perspective that he doesn’t deserve you.”

She sniffed into the hankie and blew. “What do you mean, don’t deserve?”

“Rey...that husband of yours thinks that his past is too scarred to let you love him. I also see him trying as hard as possible to atone for all of that...but no matter how much he does, I don’t think it will ever be enough for him.”

“That’s ridiculous,” she huffed.

“I know...but again...the thickheaded…”

“So...you are saying that this is why he holds himself off from me...not because he sees me as a sister?”

Luke chuckled. “Now Rey, as a man of the cloth, you know I can’t gamble. But...if I could...I would feel comfortable betting all I own on the notion that he does NOT see you as a sister.”

“Oh...but, I mean...how can you be sure?”

“I just know, Rey.”

“Oh.”

Later that night, Rey crept into Ben’s room and laid on his bed. She inhaled his familiar scent in his pillow and on his linens. How could he think that? How could he imagine he wasn’t worth her love?

____________________________

She fell asleep there and must have slept longer than she intended. She awoke to Finn’s gentle shaking. “Hey there, Peanut. Are you OK?”

She peeked through one eye at the light coming in the window and groaned. As far as she could tell, it was at least two hours past her regular wake-up time.

Finn looked down at her confused. “Are you OK? Why are you sleeping in here?”

She flopped her head back on the pillow and groaned again. “I don’t want to have to explain this, Finn. Can we just forget about it?”

He smirked down at her. “Sure, Peanut. We can forget about it. But...let me just say...you and your husband really need to talk to each other.” He walked out of the room, shaking his head and muttering to himself.

She didn’t doubt that his words were true, but how was she supposed to talk to him while he’s in Chicago?

She got up and realized she was still dressed from the day before. She never intended to fall asleep in here.

She splashed water on her face and twisted her hair up in a fresh bun before heading out to the barn.

“I’m coming, Betsy...I’m coming…”


	10. Coming Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is shorter...so here's one more tonight!

Ben had been in Chicago for a week when the trial started. He was one of the first witnesses the DA put on the stand. He had so much history and detail with Snoke, it took a while for his testimony. When it was over, he was relieved to have it done. Snoke’s lawyer had tried to poke holes in his case but without much traction. Ransolm thought it would all wrap up in a week.

He was eating dinner at his parents’ house, stirring around the food on his plate absentmindedly.

“Ben?” He looked up and from the look on his mother’s face, he knew that wasn’t the first time she called him.

“Ben...are you alright? Your mind is hundred miles away from here.”

He looked down at his ignored plate and gathered a bite. “I am fine, mother. I was just wondering how things are going back home.”

Leia’s eyes sparkled in amusement. “You miss her.”

He just nodded. “I don’t have a right to, though.”

Han piped in then. “She’s your wife, isn’t she? Of course, you have a right to miss her.”

“She only married me to save my hide and have help on the farm. And, even if she did want a real marriage...I have no right.”

Leia’s eyebrows furrowed in pain. “Ben...you have atoned for your past mistakes. You cannot undo what has been done. But you aren’t that man anymore. We all see it. When will you?”

“I...I just can’t. Whenever I look at her and she has the same trust in her eyes she gave me when she was little...I just don’t deserve it. She’s too good for me.”

“LIES!” Han shouted. “Those are lies. You think I was good enough for your mother? Love isn’t wired to be about what we deserve or earn.” He placed his hand on Ben’s arm. “Son...you broke our hearts all those years ago. We thought we’d never see you again. What if you came back and we didn’t forgive you? What if we weren’t getting this second chance to be a family?”

Ben’s eyes were filled with tears. “Ben, “ Leia’s voice cracked, “I have lived long enough to learn that you don’t throw away your chances with people. You never know when life can snatch them away and you are left with regrets. Don’t waste love, son. It’s too precious.”

She continued, “And sometimes, Son...sometimes you have to forgive yourself.”

His head dipped down, taking in what they were telling him. “I...I will think about it, OK? I’m sorry...I’m really not hungry tonight. Please excuse me.

He went to his room and laid on the bed, pondering what Han and Leia had told him. It was true that he didn’t deserve any of their forgiveness, but it was Rey he had the hardest time accepting it from.

Wasn’t it? Or was it forgiving himself? When would all the work and effort be enough? Would it ever? He thought about what Luke had told him...that grace was getting something you didn’t deserve.

Maybe that is what he needed...grace.

The next day the jury was finally deliberating and Ben was planning to leave in two days, whether they were done or not. Leia could send him a telegraph with the results if need be.

He tried not to think about what would happen if the verdict came back not guilty. What would that mean for him? For Rey? Would their lives be in danger?

He shook his head, trying to expel the anxious thoughts from his mind. They never did any good.

He was ready to be home. He wanted to inhale the scent of her and their house. He liked the way it smelled on the porch in the early morning hours when the dew released the aroma of the grass and trees. He missed it...he was no longer a city boy.

He was just sitting down to a late breakfast with his parents when there was a commotion near the front door. Arthur came in with a piece of paper in his hand.

“Master Ben, pardon the interruption, but there is an urgent telegraph for you.”

Panic seized Ben’s chest as he looked over the message.

He cleared his throat. “It’s Rey...she’s sick. They think it’s scarlet fever.”

Han called after Arthur to have the carriage readied. Leia took Ben’s hand and pulled him upstairs. “C’mon, son. Let’s get you packed. We will get you on the first train back.”

He felt like his body was moving through quicksand. He had to get to her...quickly. Should he telegraph Luke to get him? No...that would take longer. He would just buy a horse near the station. He had seen a livery there...surely they could help him. Even rent one if he needed to.

Leia and Han both went with him to the station, with Han driving instead of a servant. He got them to the station in record time.

Ben quickly learned there was a train leaving with a destination at his stop in twenty minutes. Leia handed him a satchel with bread, cheese, fruit, and water in it. Han handed him a wad of cash. They hugged him, told him they were praying for her and sent him on their way.

Ben had lots of time to think as the countryside whizzed by. He thought again about Leia’s words, about not wasting love and regretting choices.

He regretted so much in his life. Over a third of it was wasted, that was true. He missed time with his family, and seeing how they had aged was a visual marker of that. And, he had wasted time with Rey.

What if he hadn’t gone off with Snoke, but moved back to Redemption instead? It is what he thought he would always do. What if he had the chance to see Rey grow up, then court her properly as an honest man.

Instead, he had chosen a dark path where he turned against her, his family...everyone...even his faith.

He had believed, as a boy. He had found inexplicable peace in his faith. But then the move came, and he fell in with a bad crowd at the prep school he attended. Snoke preyed on educated, society boys to run his organization. He didn’t just want thugs...he wanted the best.

And in the mix of all of that, Ben had clung to the dark and lost himself.

And so, on that train screaming down the tracks, he prayed. He prayed for Rey...and he prayed for himself.

And when he was done, he fell asleep in his plush first class seat, with a peace in his heart he had not felt in a long...long time.


	11. Fever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben makes it home to his sick wife...what will he find? What will he say?
> 
> Don't forget to subscribe...two more chapters coming today! But later...I work, people!

The train pulled in to Buffalo Gap at 9am the next morning. Ben made quick work of making his way to the livery and securing a horse. He made an impromptu stop at the general store, buying some work clothes, linen cloths, hard lemon and peppermint candies, tea, and anything else he thought might help Rey feel better. He changed at the diner, grabbed some bread and cheese to go, and headed out.

Almost two hours later, he rode into town, suddenly unsure about where Rey would be. He stopped first at Luke’s since he was in town and it was right there.

Mara opened the door, surprised to see him. He could see the weariness on her face. “Ben...you’re back.”

He nodded. “I came as fast as I could.”

“But how did you…” and they she saw him motioning to the black horse tied up on her fence.

“Where is she?” He tried to keep the desperation from his voice but failed.

“Come in, son...she is here.”

He walked in, following her as she led him to their downstairs guest room across from Luke’s office.

Rey was laying on the bed. Her eyes were screwed shut, and her mouth was moving like she was trying to talk. Her skin had a red flush all over it.

“Luke has been the one caring for her. He had this when he was younger, and the doctor said that makes it less likely that he will get it again.”

Ben nodded, “Me too. My mom said we had it at the same time.”

“I just sent him up to rest. He was up with her all night.”

On impulse, he hugged his aunt. “I’m here, now. Why don’t you go rest too.”

Relief washed over her features. “We’ve just been trying to break her fever. There is a basin with rags we keep switching out. We also keep trying to get her to drink water so she doesn’t get dehydrated, but it’s hard. There isn’t a lot else we can do.”

He nodded and went to sit gingerly on the edge of the bed. He grabbed a wet cloth from the basin and gently set it on her forehead. “Rey...I’m here now, Mitháwichu ki, my wife. I’m going to take care of you.

Her face turned towards him, and her mouth stopped moving. He saw her visibly calm.

“I kept my promise, sweetheart. I’m here. Now you get better.”

He could see the effects of his voice on her. “I need you to be a good girl and take a big drink for me, then I will tell you a story. OK? Can you do that?”

He knew she couldn’t nod, but she obediently took the liquid in her mouth and swallowed, wincing in pain as she did.

“That’s my good girl. OK...I have a story about you when you were little. One day you found a baby bird. It had fallen out of its nest, and you brought it to me…”

He continued, the deep vibrations of his voice lulling her to sleep. “That’s right, Washta, you rest and get better. I’m here.”

_____________________________

Luke came downstairs later that day after a nap and watched his nephew leaning over his wife, wiping her brow and talking to her in deep, soft tones.

He stopped in surprise and could scarcely believe what he saw...he never thought he’d have him back, and he was so grateful.

“How is she?” he asked, his voice still gravely from his sleep.

Ben turned to him. “About the same...but she seems more settled. She’s asleep now.”

Luke nodded, sitting in the chair on the other side of the bed. “That makes sense...she has been asking for you in lucid moments. I’m sure it’s calming to her to have you here. How did you get to town?”

He looked up at his uncle and smirked. “I bought a horse...and a saddle. Clothes too...I wasn’t thinking too rationally.”

Luke’s eyebrows raised in surprise. “Is that the large black beast in front of my house?”

Ben nodded sheepishly. “His name is Silencer. We needed another horse anyhow...but he was definitely an impulse buy.”

“Have you eaten?”

He shook his head.

“Son...go take care of your horse. Take the saddle off him, and you can put him in my pasture out back. Then go eat something. When you have done that, you can come back.”

“What if she wakes up and I’m not here?”

“She won’t...and if she does, I will come get you. Promise.”

He nodded and stood up to do Luke’s bidding. “Thank you, Uncle...for everything. I think I’ve made my peace with my past, now.”

“You are welcome, Son...and that makes me so happy to hear. Now git so you can hurry back.”

Ben watered and fed Silencer and washed up before eating some stew and fresh bread with Mara. He wasn’t happy about leaving Rey, but he had to admit he felt better.

When he went back to her room, Luke stood to leave. “I think it would be best if we took shifts. I’ve been up all night for two nights, but my sleep has adjusted. Why don’t you go to bed soon, then I will keep watch till about 3. Then you can come relieve me and I’ll head to bed.”

Ben chewed his lip and thought about it. “Only if you promise me you will get me if she needs me or something happens.”

“I will, Ben, but like Mara reprimanded me today, you will be no good to her if you wear yourself out and get sick too. You need to sleep and eat. I expect you didn’t sleep much on the train, so you should be ready for bed in a bit. I set up a cot in my office, right across the hall. Spend a bit more time with her, then head off to bed. I will be waking you up before you know it.”

He nodded, then looked back to Rey when Luke left.

He leaned close and whispered. “Omáshte, I am so sorry I wasted so much time. I don’t even know how you feel, but I have to tell you thečhíȟila--I love you. I should have told you before I left...why we can talk about later...but right now I just want you to know I do. I need you to fight. You are the strongest person I know...fight for us, Rey. Please don’t leave me before I get to tell you what is on my heart.”

He kissed her forehead and rose to leave.

He looked back, and she could have sworn there was a flash of a smile that skated across her mouth.

__________________________

Three more days passed with Luke and Ben’s routine of care for her. Ben had curled up next to her on the bed a few times to nap too.

On that third day, Ben was almost asleep next to her when he heard her croak his name.

He leaned up on one arm and with the other reached his hand out to check her forehead. She was still warm, but not burning up like she had been.

“You’re here” she whispered, her voice hoarse even in the softer tone.

“I’m here. You scared us, Omáshte.”

“I’m sorry…”

He kissed her forehead. “I’m glad you are awake…” he whispered.

Her eyes fluttered closed, still groggy. “How long...was I out?”

“About a week,” Luke piped in as he stepped in the room. “That was Finn’s best guess since he didn’t see you one of the mornings he went to work on the house.” He put a hand up. “Before you ask...he and Poe are taking care of the animals now.”

Ben hadn’t even asked about the animals. Everything except Rey was pushed from his conscience.

“Well...we are glad to have you with us again, Sunny. I will go let the doctor know you are awake.”

Luke left.

“How did it go? In Chicago?”

Ben shook his head at her, “I’ll tell you what, Ayita. If you are a good girl and stop talking, then will drink some broth for me, I will tell you about Chicago.”

She nodded shyly but kept her mouth shut. He went out to see if Mara could heat some broth, then came back with some cold water.

“Let’s start with this and Mara will bring the broth when it’s ready.”

She obediently took two drinks, and he noticed she just winced a little when she swallowed.

“Ok...well, it went as well as it could, I think. I gave the DA a chart of the organization with as many names as I could remember. I was one of the men right under him, so I knew a lot. I also had been keeping records. It was a goldmine of evidence. They were still deliberating when I left, but Mother will send me a telegram when it’s done.”

She nodded, her eyes expectant like she was looking for more.

“Things went well with my parents also. We had some good talks. We made good progress towards healing.”

She nodded again.

“Oh...and I bought another horse. He’s here...I will take you to meet him when you get a little stronger.”

Her eyes got huge at that.

“I thought we could use a second anyway, and I was in a hurry to get home. You gave us a good scare.”

She yawned in response, and just then the doctor walked in with Luke.

“Well, Rey...it’s good to see you with your eyes open and coherent. May I?” he asked, and Ben stood and moved so he could examine her.

He checked her throat on the inside and felt the sides on the outside, checked her temperature, and listened to her breathing.

“You are on the mend but are not out of the woods yet. Your fever is much better, but your throat is as raw as I’ll get out and there are blisters all over it. No talking, and only liquids until that clears up. Also, you are dehydrated, so again with the liquids. Take it easy at first.”

He looked to the men standing there. “I think it would do her a world of good to get a bath too...and clean sheets. I will come to check on her again in three days. If she keeps improving, maybe it will be okay for her to move home then.”

He turned back to Rey. “You need to take it easy, young lady. Even when you feel better, you need at least two weeks of relaxing to let your body recoup. You were pretty sick...you need to allow yourself to recover. Understand?” She nodded solemnly.

“Doc...do you think she is still contagious?” Luke asked.

He shrugged. ‘Probably not, especially to anyone who has been in this house. But, don’t let anyone else around her yet.”

Luke amusedly watched Ben’s shoulders relax, knowing he was worrying just about who would give her the bath if it was left between the two of them. “I’ll go ask Mara to start heating water…”

The doctor left and it was just the two of them. He sat on the side of the bed, holding her hand. When he looked up at her, his expression was raw.

“You scared me, Rey. I thought I lost you.”

She didn’t speak, but covered his hand with her other one and just shook her head, heart in her eyes.

He moved to the other side of the bed and laid down next to her, gathering her up in his arms. They rested like that for a few minutes when he heard her dozing on his chest.

About a half hour later, after the doctor left, Mara came in and said she was ready for the bath. Ben stood up and circled to the other side of the bed, gently lifting her in his arms to carry her to the kitchen where the warm water was waiting for her. He winced as he felt how fragile her form felt in his arms.

She roused as he carried her, her face wrinkled in confusion.

“Bathtime, Ayita. Mara is waiting for you.”

She nodded and dipped her head back against his neck, sighing in comfort.

___________________________

The next few days were filled with Rey’s steady improvement. She followed the doctor’s orders and didn’t talk, drank her soup, and slept often. When she was awake, Ben filled her in on more details from his trip, told her stories she couldn’t remember from her childhood and read to her. Pride and Prejudice was one of her favorites he read from Luke’s collection.

When the doctor came back, he gave his blessing for her to be up and around the house for two days, then she could return home. He also released her to talk again.

Ben took her to the barn to meet Silencer.

“I wonder what Bebe is going to think of him.” She was nuzzling the large stallion, and he bent his head in approval begging her to scratch his ears.

He watched in disbelief, teasing the horse that had been so distant and ornery with him, “You know you are my horse...right?”

The horse neighed in response...he was sure he understood what he said and disagreed.

Often, though, they would sit on the porch swing together, enjoying the fresh air. The weather was starting to turn, transforming hot days into cool, crisp ones. He insisted that she be bundled in two blankets to sit out there and tucked her into his side with a protective arm around her shoulder to boot.

It was on their last day at Luke and Mara’s that he gathered the courage to have a conversation with her that was a long time coming.

She had been leaning against his side, fiddling with her braid. “Ben,” she said in a small voice, “I...I just wanted to say thank you. For taking care of me...for coming back.”

“I told you, Chuntay skoo ya, I will always come back for you.” He punctuated that with a kiss on her head.

“Ben...something seems different. You see different.”

He sighed and tightened his grip on her a bit. “I am.”

“What...if you don’t mind me asking...happened?”

She was looking up at him, but his gaze was out over the horizon.

“I don’t mind you asking, but it’s hard to put into words. I...I had been wrestling with quitting Snoke for a while before I got arrested like we talked about before. Something in me just wanted free from him and that life. I didn’t like who I was, and even worse, what I would become if I stayed.”

“When you came into that cell, all feisty and offering to marry me in exchange for my help, I felt like it was a rope someone threw me. It gave me a different purpose than what my life had been. I was lost, before that...not wanting to be what I was, but not sure what I should be either. So, I came and lived there, working hard, trying to pound out some sort of absolution in every hammer strike, ax swing, and swipe of the scythe. Even better, that the one I was keeping safe was you, who I had promised to look after.”

She sighed, “Yeah...I know...your little sister.” He didn’t miss the resignation in her voice but continued on.

“When the request came to come and help with the trial, I knew I had to take it. This was a chance not only to make things right with you but with all the people who I had previously hurt. I poured everything out to the authorities, wondering if it would be too much and they would choose to arrest me anyhow. But they didn’t...and now I am free, at least in the eyes of the law. It felt for the first time in a long time like I wasn’t a criminal.”

She sat up a bit, her eyes looking down at her lap wrapped in the blanket. “I understand, Ben...I can’t know what it was like for you, but I saw you working yourself to the bone in some sort of self-flagellation to earn what was being offered to you freely. And...I understand if now...now that you are free in the eyes of the law...I mean...you wouldn’t have to stay married to me. We could get an annulment or something. You aren’t chained to me.”

He couldn’t stop the chuckle that rose from his throat at the ridiculousness of her words, but instantly stopped when he saw the pain on her face. She was starting to stand, but he caught her and held her tight to his chest, tugging her up on his lap.

“Rey...listen to me. When I was on the train on my way back, not knowing if you would live or die, I realized how foolish I was being. I could never work enough to make it right...I could only choose from now on to follow a different path. I realized I had been running from God and His grace...but even more so from yours. If you had died...and I never told you...never confessed...I…”

Her eyes squinted at him in confusion. “Never told me what, Ben.”

Her voice combed through the tangle of his heart and suddenly his words were clear. He reached up and gently rested his hands on either side of her face, the pads of his thumbs caressing her cheeks. “That I love you, Rey. Not like a brother...not like a protector...but as a man. As your husband. I kept telling myself I could never merit your love...and I finally realized I didn’t have to. And...it was almost too late...I almost lost my chance. But not anymore. And...there is no way, under any circumstance, that I want to be free from this. I don’t want to leave you, Rey...I want to court you.”

Her hands were upon his wrists now, clinging to them for dear life. “You...you love me?”

He just looked at her and nodded. Suddenly, she identified that other look she had seen in his eyes….when they had looked like pools of chocolate, soft and warm. The realization brought unshed tears to hers. The truth had been right there in his eyes the whole time, she just didn’t know how to read them and what it meant.

“And, you want to court me?” her voice was just a whisper.

“So badly. In a roundabout way, I think I was trying to with all the work, trying to prove my worth to you, but it could never satisfy. But really, that was more for me, but this...this is for us. I want you, Rey...just you.”

She watched his eyes dip down to her lips, and her breath caught. She had never been kissed before, but she got a distinct impression that was about to change. Slowly, his eyes drifted back and forth between her lips and her eyes, he moved towards her. His eyes never left hers as his lips softly grazed hers.

Rey didn’t know how to explain how it felt. It was cold and tingly, yet warm at the same time. His lips were soft and yet firm. She felt protected and wanted...

He loved her.

______________________________________________

That night Ben got the telegram from Leia. Snoke and his gang were all convicted and found guilty. Snoke and Hux were to be hanged for their crimes, and the rest were sentenced to life without parole. Ben was already free, but knowing he wouldn’t have to look over his brought a different liberation to his heart. He didn’t have to worry about them getting to her.


	12. New Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Courting! ;)

The next day they borrowed Luke’s wagon to hitch Silencer to and started the journey home.

“It is kind of strange now...to be headed back. It feels like I’ve been gone so long.”

He grinned down at her, checking her blanket tucked around her again. “I know what you mean.”

‘Ben...I’m not sure you do. Except for spending the night at Luke and Mara’s a handful of times as a kid, and the trip to Rapid City, I’ve never been away from home.”

He squinted down at her, the late morning sun just over her head now. “I suppose I don’t know what you mean, then. For me, it was strange to have a home.”

She was quiet for a minute, chewing on her bottom lip. He noticed she did that when she was thinking.

“Is farm life what you want, Ben? Is this where you imagined yourself?”

He considered her question carefully. “Truthfully, I always pictured myself coming back to Redemption and living in the country. But to farm crops...not really. I wouldn’t mind growing our own food, but I don’t have any interest in that kind of farming as a livelihood.”

She wrinkled her nose. “I really don’t either. I was just trying to find a way to take care of that mortgage. But now that it’s gone...I don’t want to do it anymore. It was hard work.”

He smiled down at her. “It is hard work...I can’t believe you planted and harvested before by yourself. I was very impressed with you when I realized all you did.”

“People can do lots of hard things if the prize on the other side is right.”

“Yep...I did all of that and the trial...for you. I could have just paid off the mortgage, but it was important to me to help you finish what you started...on your own terms.”

She blushed a bit, “Ben...when you said you wanted to court me...what did you mean? I mean, we are already married. Isn’t that kind of backward?”

He laughed. “Probably...but I don’t know a lot of married couples where one saves the other by bailing them out of jail, either. I guess I just meant for us to take the time to get to know each other. We don’t have a lot of time before winter hits, but I want to take you for buggy rides, have picnic lunches...sit by you in church...what normal couples do before they get married.”

“Well...yeah, but normal couples aren’t living in the same house when all of that is going on.”

“True...and I want this to be a real marriage, but I want to give you time...give us time. How long do couples usually court here?”

“Well...that all depends on the time of year. Some get long over the winter months. Some just are a few weeks or a month.”

He nodded. “A month...I want to give you a month. You can ask me anything during that time. I don’t want you to have any questions or hesitations about me. Even if it is hard, I will always be truthful with you.”

The gravity of what he was saying settled on her. She knew that there were things she wondered about...about his past. Part of her wanted to know, and part of her wanted to pretend like they didn’t happen. She saw the wisdom in what he was saying.

They pulled up at the homestead just then. She saw a little shingle hanging over the porch that she didn’t remember being there that read, “The Solos.”

Finn burst out of the front door. He went to Rey’s side and scooped her down out of the wagon, spinning her once before setting her down.

“Peanut...we have been so worried about you! You are a sight for sore eyes. Rose is going to be so relieved when I tell her how good you look.”

The truth was, she looked a little pale, but Ben was grateful for the other man’s enthusiasm and agreed, considering how far she had come.

He turned to shake Ben’s hand and whistled when he saw Silencer. “Where did you find that beast, Solo?”

“Buffalo Gap...I had to find a way to get home to my girl.” He ended that with an arm around Rey, steadying her still frail form as they stood.

Finn noticed the gesture but didn’t say anything. “Well...do you want to see what I’ve been doing while you two were away? It starts with that sign I made that I just hung there on the porch...”

He led them through the front door and down the hallway. Ben noticed the new, honeyed wood at the end that elongated the passageway, and the new door at the end.

“But, c’mon inside and see the rest,” Finn beckoned.

Ben was surprised to step into the nearly completed room. The walls, floor, and roof were done. And, the porcelain fixtures were all in the room.

“I got the toilet working just yesterday. I figured you would want that ready to go first. We need to get that instantaneous water heater hooked up, then we can finish the tub and the sink.”

Rey turned to Ben. “Hot water?” she asked incredulously.

He nodded and rubbed her arms. “Did any of it give you any trouble, Finn?”

“No...in fact, I have really enjoyed figuring this all out. This room is going to be the talk of the town.”

Ben smirked. “I actually have an idea, Finn. I’m not sure if you would be interested in a long-term side gig, but I was thinking maybe we could enlarge and modernize our kitchen in the spring, then maybe start offering our services to other folks that might want to modernize their homes as well.”

Finn’s eyes lit up. “I like how you think, Solo. I think folks would be excited about that idea...Rose too, since Tico’s profits from the part sales.”

Ben grinned. “I know...that is why it’s a good partnership with her husband. Well...in four weeks, her husband.”

Finn nodded, the excitement in his eyes evident. “Well, I’m done for today. I’ll let you two get settled. I’ll see you tomorrow. We’ll see if we can get those other pieces installed now that we have two sets of hands.”

Ben saw him out, and Rey watched as the men shook hands and had a laugh about something together.

Ben had become part of her world.

________________________

He wasn’t letting her do anything. He cooked, he did all the chores, he read to her, and he tucked her into her bed each night with a kiss on her forehead.

And, true to his word, he took her for drives in the wagon and packed picnic lunches to eat by the river. And, he sat next to her in church. He hadn’t darkened the door of Luke’s church since he’d been back in town, and now he faithfully sat there next to her.

He and Finn had finished the bathroom, and Rey was in heaven. The first week, she had taken a bath every night, just because she could. When she thought about not having to drag herself out to the outhouse once the snow came, she just about came undone. It was the best thing anyone had ever done for her.

_____________________________

It was on their third picnic that she got brave. He said she could ask anything.

“Ben...you said I could ask you anything, right?”

“Yes, Chuntay skoo ya. I can’t promise you will like the answer...but I will tell you whatever you want to know.”

His words caught her attention. “First...what does that mean?”

At first, he wasn’t sure what she meant. The Lakota words he had picked up in his growing up years came as naturally to him as English sometimes. “Oh...that. It means sweetheart or my love.”

“Oh,” breathed as a pretty blush rosied her cheeks. But, she didn’t let it distract her for long because there were things she needed to know.

She started hesitantly. “Do….do you know how many people you have killed?”

“22,” he answered without hesitation.

“Were they, were they in the business?”

“Most of them...some not. Some were from opposing organizations, some from our own. And, a few times they were other involved people got caught in the crosshairs. I never killed any innocents. That is how I justified it in my mind, back then. They all deserved it, as far as I was concerned, by job or association. It’s not what I think now...but then I did.”

She nodded. “Were you ever hurt?”

“Many times, but not as much as most. I was the muscle of the organization. The other guys usually couldn’t get much traction on me.”

She nodded absentmindedly, grateful for his size that likely kept him safe.

“And...what else was part of your job?”

“I ran the bank organization. Snoke had many...interests, but banks were my thing. I led a company of highly skilled robbers. I have actually thought about offering my services to the bank here in town to help improve security.”

“What were Snoke’s other businesses?”

He sighed. “Pretty standard fare...bars, gambling establishments, brothels…”

That last word punched her in the gut. The next question was burning in her. She didn’t want to ask, but she had to know.

“So you weren’t involved in any of those?”

“Hmmm...not really. By association, yes...but not directly.”

He took in her flustered demeanor and just knew where she was headed. She wasn’t looking at him anymore.

“Chuntay skoo ya...are you trying to fish for if I was a partaker in any of those establishments?”

Her head stayed down, but she nodded as she fiddled with a twig she had picked up.

“Well...I’m not going to lie, I definitely had my drinking days early on, and I gambled some...but I never was a customer at the brothels. I could never get Old Ben’s words about fornication and prostitutes out of my mind. Snoke tried...it was one of the ways he enticed men to join and kept them loyal, but it wasn’t for me.”

He saw her shoulders sag a bit in relief, but her head stayed down. “Did you...have any girlfriends back then?”

“I went on a few dates, but nothing much to speak of.”

He could tell she wasn’t done digging. “So when you say Ben’s words were in your head…”

Finally, he got it. “Rey...look at me.”

She slowly brought her big, shimmering hazel eyes up to meet his.

“Rey, I have been a bad man in many ways. But that...that was a line I never crossed. I kissed a few girls, but that’s it. When the time is right, and when being together like that comes...it will only be you and I. It’s just us. There is no one else for me.”

She sniffled. “If you had...I mean, I understand there are lots of things you did you aren’t proud of. But it just...it just broke my heart to think about…”

He scooted over closer to her and wrapped his arm around her. “It’s just us, Rey...just us.”

She sighed and rested her head on his shoulder. “Does it make me a terrible person that knowing you had would have made me sadder than that you killed people and robbed banks?”

He chuckled. “Nope...not in the slightest. I would feel the same if the roles were reversed.”

They sat together as the sun started to set in silence before the nip in the air made him collect her to go back home.

__________________________________

She knew the town gossips would be whispering behind their backs. That never bothered Rey any, though. Papa Ben had always told her that the worst of people was the easiest for them to do sometimes, even in church. He reminded her the God looks at the heart. She tried to too...to look at people’s hearts.

It’s what made her decide to help Ben. When Luke said he had wanted to reform from his errant ways, she knew she wanted to help that man. Foolishly perhaps, but with a clear heart.

She was trying really hard to listen to Luke’s sermon, but sitting this close to Ben, with his arm around the back of her on the pew back, and Papa Ben’s old, worn Bible laying open between them...that just did things to her heart.

Looking up at his face, at his strong jaw, puppy dog brown eyes and full, sensual lips...well, that did other things to her. Probably things she shouldn’t think about too hard while Luke was preaching.

He had been planting chaste kisses on her periodically. Sometimes on her lips, but more often on the top of her head of her forehead. She liked them, but it was like something else had woken in her, and all of that didn’t seem enough.

They were one week away from the 30 days Ben had set for their courtship. One week away from Finn and Rose’s wedding.

She snuggled a bit closer, grateful for how far they had come, and giddy at what was to come.

_____________________________

Rey was sure that few other girls got taken shooting for a date.

“You want to what?”

He grinned down at her, “What’s wrong...you nervous? I’ve heard you and everyone raving about what a good shot you are...now is the time to prove it, Little Solo.”

She studied his cocky expression skeptically. “I have confidence in my abilities. Are YOU sure, Solo? Can you handle been bested by a girl?” she asked with an eyebrow raised.

He grabbed the shotgun and shells, then headed out about 100 feet away from the back porch on the edge of the forest. She saw pieces of paper with concentric circles on several trees at varying distances, but all pretty far.

“So...how is this going to go?”

“I figure we each get three shots. Each shot needs to be on a different tree. The one who can get the most center on the most tree wins. There are six trees, so no repeats between us.”

“Agreed. And...is there a prize?”

He smirked. “You mean besides bragging rights?”

She nodded.

“Fine. If I win, you have to make me some of those cookies of yours I like so much.”

“Okay.” She started walking toward him and saucily said, “But if I win, you have to kiss me...on the lips.”

She held his gaze and saw his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed hard. “Deal.”

She thought his voice sounded kind of funny...like his throat was too tight.

He gestured for her to start, and his voice sounded normal again. “Ladies first.”

She raised the run and squinted through the finder at all six trees. She made her pick and fired. She reloaded and fired twice more. Even at a distance they were at, she could see the smoke rising from the middle of the paper. “Your turn, Solo.”

He loaded and fired his turns as well. They walked to the trees afterward, each of them collecting their papers.

“Well...I’ll be…” he looked at them in disbelief.

She shrugged. “I tried to tell you...”

He looked at her in wonder. “How...how did the pastor’s kid learn to shoot like that?”

She grinned up at him. “Papa Ben wasn’t always a pastor...he was a lawman before going into the ministry...a pretty successful one at that. He made sure his girl knew how to take care of herself.”

He laughed to himself at the spike in attraction he felt towards her that he wouldn’t have thought possible. How could he want her more? And yet...this side of her...this was something else.

“Well, Big Solo...what about my prize?” she teased.

He dropped the papers and stalked over to her, pulling her into his arms. One arm snaked around her lower back while the other wrapped around the back of her neck as he lowered his head down to hers. Rey saw a flicker of desire that had not been there before. Ben always kept things sweet...but the look in his eyes before his lips crashed into hers sent a wave of shivers down her back.

It started slow and soft, but in a new and glorious way, it soon turned. She felt like his lips were burning across hers, full and passionate. They lingered longer and harder than before. She raised her hands up to cup his face, half out of a need to touch him, and half out of self-preservation to keep from melting to the ground. But as soon as they reached his cheeks, they snaked of their own accord into his long, dark locks. He groaned at the feel of it.

He finally pulled back and just held her close, his lips connecting with her forehead for several minutes as they struggled to return their breathing to normal.

Finally, he spoke. “You know...your prize pick made it not very fair. I was a winner either way.”

“Well,” she started in a voice that was pure sass, “I knew you wouldn’t be winning the contest, so I figured I could help you out with the prize.”


	13. My Love

After breakfast, they were talking about Finn and Rose’s wedding later that day, and it struck him that he never gave her what he brought her from Chicago.

She had just put the cookies she was making for him in the oven. He asked her to wash her hands and meet him in the great room.

When she came back in from the bathroom, he told her to close her eyes.

He came up behind her and whispered down into the shell of her ear, “No peeking now, Chuntay skoo ya.” He gently grazed his lips there.

She shivered involuntarily and grabbed the chair, shaking her head.

“Hold out your hands.”

She obeyed and he placed a parcel in her hands.

“Ok...open your eyes.”

She opened them and looked down, seeing a brown paper wrapped parcel. She laughed. “It’s wrapped! Why did I need to close my eyes?”

His crooked smile made her all warm inside. “It was more fun this way.”

She snorted as she untied the string holding the bundle together. The paper fell away, and inside was forest green silk dress.

“Ben…” she breathed out.

“I wanted you to have something...something fine. I had your measurements from Penelope’s...I hope it fits. I thought you could wear it to the wedding.”

“I...I’ve never even SEEN anything like this. It’s too fine for me.”

He took it from her and gently laid it over the back of the chair, then turned and caged her in his arms. “Not even possible. If anything, there is nothing that can be made that is good enough for you.” He held her with his gaze, not letting her argue.

After a few heartbeats, he stood back up. “I have something else for you.”

He reached in his pocket and pulled out a small box. He holds it out to her on his open palm.

“Go on...open it.”

She takes it from his hand. Her’s is shaking now. She draws open the lid, and inside is a ring. It is a delicately patterned ring in yellow gold, with tiny diamonds embedded in it all over, with one larger stone in the middle. The shape is unique...almost like a star...or a…

“It reminded me of you...I thought it looked like a sunflower.”

Her eyes raised to him, shimmering with tears. “But…”

He held his hand up, halting her protests. “Rey...if I want to buy my wife a wedding ring, I am going to. I want you to have it.”

He reached over and pulled the ring out of the velvet bed and took her left hand in his. He lined it up with her ring finger, then raised his eyes to her as he slipped it on.

“A perfect fit,” he said as he lifted her hand to his lips.

“I don’t know what to say,” she murmured.

He took just half a step closer. “Then don’t say anything.” At that, he dipped down and caught her lips in a smoldering kiss. Like after the shooting range, she felt like it took her breath away.

He started to lean down again when they heard a carriage arrive.

“Ahhh...there is my third surprise.”

They walked out to the porch, and they saw Finn with some kind of furniture and a large mattress in the wagon.

She turned to him, the question bubbling on her lips.

“I know what you are going to ask, Rey. The answer is, thirty days are up, and I’m not taking my wife to bed on my old pastor’s bed...or her old childhood bed for that matter either.” He winked at her and stepped off the porch to greet Finn and help him get his purchase from the wagon.

She gulped at his forwardness and tried to ignore the thrill that ricocheted throughout her body over it.

________________________

On the way to the wedding, Ben chanced a look at her. She had been quiet since the bed arrived. She had wordlessly made it up with the new sheets and blankets while he and Finn hefted the old bed and other furniture that didn’t fit now, out to the barn. On his way back to the wagon, Finn has winked at her before drawling, “See you, Peanut” a bit too smugly.

She had gone to her room to get ready. When she came down the hall, her silk skirts rustling, she took his breath away. He knew it would be a good color on her, but he was unprepared for how utterly appealing she looked.

Now, with her solemn demeanor next to her, he cleared his throat. “Rey...why are you so quiet. What’s wrong?”

She sighed. “It’s nothing...I think I am a bit overwhelmed. The dress, the ring...the bed…” she trailed off.

He mentally chided himself. “Is this about my comment? About the 30 days?”

“I...I’m not sure.”

“Rey...I was teasing you. Mostly, I mean, the 30 days are over, but that doesn’t mean that needs to happen right now. We can take time...whatever you need. Are you...are you nervous? About that?”

He could see the flush crawl up her neck from the intimate nature of the conversation, but he needed her to communicate with him about this. He wanted to be careful with her.

“I guess so...it all just feels so foreign. I just don’t know...I mean...Mara talked to me about it last week, so I know some...but...yeah. I guess I’m nervous.”

He held the reins with one hand and took her hand in his. “Would it make you feel better to know that I am too?”

Her eyes flew to his. “Truly?”

“Truly. I’m nervous about doing something I’ve never done before...about possibly hurting you...not living up to your expectations.”

Her eyes softened at him. “I guess...I guess you do understand.”

He brought her hand to his lips. “I just want to be able to sleep by your side, Rey. Whatever else happens...and when it happens...you determine that. I just don’t want to be alone anymore.”

“Me either.”

They fell silent, but the quiet was not awkward like it was before.

___________________________

Rey clapped her hands at the end of the service when Luke pronounced them man and wife. Her heart sang in excitement for her friends.

She chanced a glance sideways at Ben. His brow was furrowed in thought.

She poked the side his arm wrapped behind her gave her open access to. “Hey...why do you look grumpy?” she teased.

He was also lost in thought. His head hitched after a few beats when he realized she was talking to him.

“I’m sorry...what did you say?”

“I said grumpy...you look grumpy. What is wrong?”

His eyes were serious. “I...I was just thinking about how you missed this.”

“I what?” she asked in confusion.

“This...this big celebration with your friends here. You didn’t get that.”

She reached up and cupped his cheek. “I never wanted all this, Ben. I didn’t miss anything. I get you...and that is all I need.”

The strain left his face and his eyes lowered to her lips. The glance made her eyes widen.

“Oh no...Ben Solo. You aren’t kissing me in church!”

__________________________

The reception had been going for while when Ben and Rey danced slowly to the soft waltz by the fiddle Snap was playing. His hands felt warm at her waist and on her hand. The reception was in the same barn where the harvest dance had been a few weeks before.

Rey was just soaking in the moment. The feel of her hand in his. She never saw herself as small before. For the women in town, she was among the tallest. But being around Ben made her feel small but in a delicious way.

She felt safe and protected in his arms. His shadow over her spoke of safety. She could scarcely believe that was true, considering how they started. Who knew that he would reform to be the thief of her heart.

His body always put out so much heat when she was close. She could remember so many cold nights on the South Dakota prairie, shivering in her bed. Sleeping next to him, she doubted she would ever be that cold again.

His arm flexed under her fingertips. She looked up at him and was surprised at the intensity of how he was regarding her. It almost looked...hungry.

She was drawn into the depths of that look. She couldn’t look away from his stare.

He dipped his head down to her ear, then whispered in a sinfully deep rumble, “If you don’t want me to kiss you soundly in front of the whole town, we need to leave soon.”

Her eyelids sank shut and she gasped at the ache his words and tone unfurled in her gut.

She looked back up at him and said in a small voice, “Twenty minutes?”

“Fifteen,” he stated flatly.

The fiddle stopped its melody and the crowd clapped. Ben released her to say her goodbyes.

She quickly found the couple of honor and hugged her congratulations to them in a group hug.

“Congrats, my friends I am so happy for you!”

“Thanks for coming,” Rose crooned.

“Enjoy the rest of your...evening,” Finn quipped.

She leveled her gaze at him and teased back, “You too...Finn.”

Ben followed with a one arm embrace for the bride and a handshake with Finn. Rey decided she didn’t like how the two men seemed to have a conspiratorial look between them.

As they walked away from them, Ben caught her hand and tucked it in his elbow to escort her to the wagon. On their way out, she was surprised to look up and see Poe cross their path...with Paige.

“Oh...hello, Paige...Poe. Enjoy the rest of your evening.”

“You too,” Paige said with a big smile.

Poe just nodded a greeting to her but offered his hand to Ben. Ben hesitated for a moment before grasping it in a shake.

“Sheriff Dameron.”

“Actually, it’s just Poe. That is what my neighbors call me.” He paused for a moment and continued, “I heard about what you did...in Chicago. That was a good thing, Ben.” Then, he looked to Rey. “Take care of our girl.”

Rey watched as an unspoken agreement seemed to pass between the two men and a truce was brokered without words. Ben nodded before they parted

“Well,” she sighed, “that is something I never thought I’d see.”

He grinned down at her and said, “Yeah...me too.”

_____________________________

Rey took a bath when they got home. It was her custom to do so on Saturday nights. Tonight, though, her mind was clouded with what was to come.

Tonight...tonight she would sleep in their new bed...with Ben.

She wasn’t sure what all that meant, but the pleasant flutter she felt in her gut whenever she thought of it bespoke of excitement.

Her mind drifted back to that night long ago in Rapid City when she had her bad dream. Waking up next to him was so comforting and warm.

But...that was before all the heated kisses of the last few days, and now she felt warm in other ways. She had no idea what all...THAT would be like. But, if the way his kisses and warm hands on her felt was any indication...well, she just couldn’t imagine.

She carefully dried off and put on her fresh nightgown and drawers, then brushed her teeth.

No...she really didn’t know what was to come...but she was looking forward to it.

_____________________________

Ben looked up at her as she walked in the room. He was resting against the headboard, reading in the light of the lamp on the side table.

She giggled as she realized again just how massive this new bed was. There wasn’t room for any other furniture in this room except it and a matching nightstand on Ben’s side.

She walked to the other side and kicked off the soft moccasins she wore around the house.

“Good bath?” he asked?

She stretched languidly on the bed in response. “Ben...what did they make this bed out of? Clouds? It’s positively heavenly.”

He chuckled at her. “Something like that. I’m going to brush my teeth...be right back.”

She nodded, registering he was leaving, but only barely.

By the time he returned, she was snoring softly, her face turned away from his side of the bed. He just stood there for a few minutes, watching her familiar, sweet face in sleep. He extinguished the flame of the lamp before carefully climbing in next to her. He scooted close, gathering her warm, sleeping form to his. She didn’t even flinch.

This is what he had been longing for. Sure...he wanted the other too...but for now, for now, this bliss of being nestled next to her was everything.

She was all he ever really wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ring: https://www.1stdibs.com/jewelry/rings/engagement-rings/antique-yellow-gold-diamond-ring/id-j_4608761/


	14. Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Friday friends!

It had been two weeks. For two weeks, Rey had woken up every morning next to the warm, muscled, hunk of man that was her husband. No matter how she fell asleep, she always woke up snuggled in his arms. She adored it.

But...she wondered.

She wondered what it would be like with...more? And even if that is what she was admitting she wanted...how would she let him know? He said she had to decide...and she was feeling like she was deciding...right?

His kisses left them both breathless, but he didn’t push past them. He watched her with dark, searching eyes.

So, she started to imagine what she could do.

She could just tell him. They talked about everything, but somehow that felt too hard.

She could show him. She could do an action that pushed past where they were..but that felt embarrassing somehow.

Or, she could try to tempt him to act...but that would make him dishonor what he told her, and she didn’t want that part of their life to be tainted.

So, she waited, and she puzzled.

__________________________

She was sitting next to the fire, working on the mending. She pulled out the shirt Ben was wearing in jail that first day she saw him. Well...not THE first day, but the first one she remembered.

As she held the shirt up, a shiver caught her unaware as the sheer size of it towered over her. She knew...for heaven’s sake...she did all the laundry. But something about sitting and being reminded of the size of him did funny things to her. She shook her head and grabbed the needle and thread to mend the hole.

She had been carefully working for a few minutes when she heard the unmistakable sound of the ax on wood. The sound sent another ripple up her spine, just after they had subsided from the shirt. What was wrong with her?

She stood and set down her mending, the steady thud of the ax calling her like a siren song. When she got to the back door, she grabbed a shawl from the hook.

As she stood watching him on the porch, she had deja vu to a few months ago when the weather was warm and he had shucked his shirt. The day was too cool for that, but he was no less impressive as his muscled form made quick work of the chopping.

When he turned to throw the latest pieces on the woodpile, he saw her standing there...watching.

“Been there long, Chuntay skoo ya?” The amusement was dripping from his voice.

“S-s-stew...the stew is ready for lunch. I just wanted to let you know.”

She turned and ran back inside, her heart thundering in her chest. She scurried to the kitchen to ladle out the stew for their midday meal. She heard his heavy boots enter the door and kick off his feet before his weight stomped into the bathroom.

By the time his footsteps quickened down the hall, she had lunch on the table.

“Are you done? With your work?” she asked timidly.

He noticed her eyes were not meeting his, and he smirked. “I have more to do to prepare for winter...especially adding the water heater. But I am done for today.”

She nodded, and they ate in companionable silence.

When the dishes were washed and put away, she went back to her mending, and he sat next to her on the couch with a book. Rey had turned sideways to catch the sunlight streaming through the window behind her. Her moccasined feet were propped up on the couch, just a few inches away from him.

He looked down and saw her feet there so close. As he asked her what she was working on, he pulled her feet onto his lap.

She glanced up in surprise. “Your shirt,” she answered.

He recognized it now. His hands pulled off one shoe and started massaging her feet.

Rey’s body was a cacophony of feelings. On the one hand, part of her had been solidly resisting more intimate contact out of fear. Her whole life, she had resisted that.

But, the storm of affection that had been brewing in her for some time called out to him. That part soared at the feel of his hands on her, even if it was her feet. Maybe especially because it was her feet. There was something so personal about it...no one else would touch her feet. It made her breath hitch.

Trails of warmth were now radiating from the places on her feet where his hands had contact, The tendrils of heat were radiating up her legs.

“Ben,” she whimpered.

“What, Mitháwichu ki.”

She dropped he work to the floor and leaned forward to crawl across the couch towards him. She just sat looking into his eyes, dark and swirling before she tentatively reached out with her hands to cup his face before gently lowering her lips to his.

It started with a sweet sigh. Rey had never really instigated affection like this before. She remembered what he had done when he had. She leaned her head to the side to better access his lips, before breaking apart for a moment and resting her forehead against his.

“What do you want, Rey?” he whispered.

She took a deep breath and found her courage. “I...I want you to love me, Ben.”

Until this point, Ben hadn’t touched her. He had been sitting and waiting on her. But when her words fell, it was like they broke a dam.

His hands moved over to her back, drawing her close to his himself and burned a trail down her back. His lips caught hers, soft yet demanding. They moved over her with a new fervor and gently seeking more than before. When at last they broke, his hands moved up to trap her face, forcing her to look into his eyes.

“Are you sure?”

She was drowning in the depths of them. She couldn’t form words. She could only nod and lean back into his lips.

She felt more than heard a groan behind his lips. He shifted his arms to pull her across his chest and wrapped his arms under her legs. He stood suddenly, carrying her across the great room and through the door of the bedroom.

He set her gently down on the bed, savoring the sight of her kiss-swollen lips and hooded eyes. He pulled out the pins holding her hair in a bun on the back of her head and watched her chestnut tresses tumble free down her back. She was wearing the green calico dress.

“May I?” he asked, gesturing to the buttons down the front of the bodice. He saw her swallow hard before nodding.

His fingers suddenly felt clumsy trying to work to free the small buttons. At last, he was done, and she shrugged off the sleeves and let it pool at her hips.

His breath caught at the sight of her in just her sleeveless chemise.

She looked up boldly. ”And...may I?”

His throat went dry as she stood on her knees and started unbuttoning his shirt. When she was done, she pulled the suspenders from his shoulders before pushing the garment to follow.

She ran her hands over his chest, marveling at the feel of him, the juxtaposition of his soft skin over his hard form under her fingertips. They would pause over the dips and smooth lines of scars that littered his torso.

“What do we do now, Ben?” she asked in wonder.

Oh, the things her small hands running over his skin was doing to him. He caught one hand and kissed it, nuzzling it softly with his lips. “Whatever you want, my love. Anything...everything.”

On wobbly legs Rey stood, allowing her dress to sink down her legs and to the ground. She peered up at his face as she slipped each strap of her chemise down her shoulders, letting it fall the path of her dress. Her eyes stayed on his. She willed them not to flinch as his grew dark, taking it all in as she stood bare before him.

“I want it all, Ben...all of you.”  
_________________________________________________

Ben woke first. He shifted carefully to not wake his sleeping wife curled up in his side.

His sleeping...naked wife.

Twenty-nine years is an awfully long time to wait for what happened yesterday afternoon. And last night....and what his body was already considering about now again this morning...

He chuckled to himself, for the first time eagerly awaiting being cooped up in a house this winter...with Rey.

He had a lot of making up to do.


	15. Winter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a shorter one...but enjoy!

The first winter storm hit in late October...and it was like it never left.

At Rey’s insistence, he had tied a rope from the back porch to the barn. He didn’t recall what they did when they lived here before, but her rope trick was brilliant.

All there was to do was take care of the animals in the barn...then cozy up to Rey inside.

He could scarcely believe what his marriage had become. It felt like a dream. That is what he was thinking as he snuggled his sleeping wife under a quilt on the bear-skin rug in front of the fireplace.

As his arms gently swaddled her stomach, he wondered how long it would be before a baby would join them. 

She stirred in his arms. “Sorry love...I guess you wore me out.”

He kissed her head gently. “It’s okay...I was actually just wondering when you might have a good excuse to be so tired.”

She turned and looked over her shoulder at him. “It’s only been a few weeks, Ben.”

He tightened his grip on her. “I know...but really, it only takes once.”

She giggled. “I know...but that doesn’t mean it always comes so easily. God’s timing is perfect.”

He bent his head and grazed his lips against her neck. “Well...that may be true, but there’s no harm in helping Him along a bit, right?”

She shuffled and laid on her back, looking up at him with adoration in her eyes. “Is this what you plan to do all winter? Keep me naked in bed or in front of the fireplace?”

He leaned down and kissed her, soft and slow. “Would it be so horrible? Besides...you might have left out a few places.”

“Really? Ben...you have no idea how cold it gets in here. There aren’t a lot of other places that are warm enough.”

“Mmmm...the bathtub? Besides, I can keep you warm, Chuntay skoo ya.”

She reached up and pushed a lock of his hair behind his ear, then caressed the cheek she exposed. “You do keep me warm, husband. And I think I am going to change my mind this year about how much I dislike winter.”

“Me too, Rey.” His voice was an octave lower than his already deep tone, and it sparked shockwaves down her spine.

“Is that bathtub even big enough for two?” Her voice sounded funny to her, threaded with air.

“Oh...I assure you. I purposefully picked the biggest one to be sure. Shall we try it out?”

She just nodded, not trusting that her voice would be there at all if she tried to talk again.

She watched him stand, bare and unashamed. The firelight danced down his muscled form. He grabbed a blanket from the couch and wrapped himself in it to head down the hall. 

She turned and stared into the fire. She could not believe both the freedom and pleasures the last few weeks had brought. She wondered how her husband learned how to thrill her so much with no experience.

She heard the back door close and then his stomps into the bathroom. She shivered a bit at the thought of him out in the frigid cold in his state of undress.

After a few minutes, she heard the water running and knew that Ben had stoked the embers in the heater back into full flame, and the water had warmed enough to run in the porcelain tub. They had discovered that the cold tub needed the water extra hot as the chill of the surface took out a fair amount of heat on contact.

Just a few minutes more and he came back down the hall and stood beside her. She started to struggle to stand, but he bent down and scooped her up in his arms. She could feel the effects of the cold still lingering on his hands and face as she nuzzled her cheek against his.

He set her feet down on the rug next to the tub, protecting them from the cold bathroom floor. He dropped his blanket before gently peeling hers off her shoulders. Then he turned to step into the tub and extended his hand to help her in. He settled down, leaning against the backside and pulled her down to fit in the cradle his legs and body created for her.

“See...it’s a perfect fit.”

And it was. She never wanted to leave the cocoon of warmth the water and Ben’s body gave her.

____________________________

Winter dragged on, but Rey and Ben were perfectly content, wrapped up on their cozy home with each other.

Christmas morning brought their first holiday together...and another month of disappointment.

“Don’t worry, Waȟčázi. Remember, you said God’s timing is perfect.”

Her face was buried in his chest. He could feel her hot tears soaking into the wool of his shirt. 

He just rubbed her back, allowing her the time to grieve the little one that wasn’t to be yet.

“But what if...what if it’s never time?” she questioned in a small voice.

He hugged her tighter, grimacing in his heart at the possibility.

“It’s too soon to worry about that...we have time. If that is our path, we will find a way. We can adopt an orphanage full of kids if you want.”

She leaned back so she could see his face. His heart broke at the pain he saw scrawled across her beautiful features.

“You would...you would do that?”

He leaned down and kissed away the path of tears on either side of her face before resting his forehead against hers. “I just want to build a family with you Rey...however that happens...that is what I want.”

She leaned back down against his chest and sighed. “That would be the best gift I could get...to be a family with you, Ben.”

“We already are, my love...we already are,” he insisted as he held her tight.

She exhaled at that and soaked up the truth. She would not be alone. She belonged to someone, and he to her.

“Merry Christmas, husband.”

“Merry Christmas, Mitháwichu ki.”


	16. Spring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alas...it is done. Stay tuned for my post-TLJ fic coming soon, attempting to incorporate all the rumors and facts we know now! Of course...fluffier...

The snow held through the end of April, teasing and then disappointing them that winter had gone.

Rey was on the porch, snuggled in a wool shawl to ward off the chill of the lingering weather. Another disappointment today came. She was starting to accept that a baby might not be in the plans for them. A part of her heart grieved that, and a part of her tried to focus on the joy of having this special time with just the two of them. She had a peace in her heart that someday children would come. Until then, they could enjoy their extended honeymoon.

Ben stepped out on the porch. “Are you ready?” he asked gently, knowing her emotions were tender.

She stood and stepped into his arms. “I am...and I am alright, Ben. Even if our family is just the two of us, and am the luckiest girl in the world.”

He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. “We both are blessed, love. Blessed with families of our choosing, for now. And right now, your chosen aunt and uncle are expecting us. I’ll go get the wagon ready.”

“Could...could we both just ride on Silencer? We don’t need the wagon. I want to be close to you.”

He pulled her down the porch and toward the barn in response. He saddled up the large horse, then turned to help boost her up to the stirrups. Once she was settled, he swung his let over and nestled in against her back.

“This was a great idea, love. We should always travel like this, Chuntay skoo ya” he muttered against her neck exposed by her hair caught up in a bun.

She shuddered at the sensation and bit her lip to stop herself from asking him to just take her back home.

The arrived for their early dinner with the Skywalkers and he caught her up in his arms as he helped her down, not setting her down. He leaned forward and kissed her gently.

“Ben...people will see.”

“Let them see...I can kiss my wife,” he said before kissing her again...not so gently.

A voice called out from the porch, “You two lovebirds ever going to come inside? Or did you just need a room?”

Ben sighed and finally set her down begrudgingly. He leaned down and whispered, “We’ll finish this later. Riding with you does things to me...did you know that, little minx?”

She looked up at him with wide eyes, swallowing hard. She willed her eyes not to look down.

“Just walk in front of me, Rey...till we get inside.”

She nodded. If Luke wondered why they were walking oddly, he didn’t say.

Mara already had supper on the table. The aroma of the roast with root vegetables was tantalizing.

After the blessing, Luke started passing the plates.

“So...I got an interesting letter from Sabine I wanted to talk to you two about.”

Ben’s brow furrowed a bit. “Sabine? Is something wrong? Or...does she need more funding?”

Luke grinned. “No...this is a more....personal matter.”

They just turned expectant, confused faces to him, waiting for him to continue. It seems that one of her girls at Padme’s House found herself in the family way. She had the baby in the fall, but has decided it is best to put it up for adoption.”

Rey’s eyes ripped from Luke’s and snapped to his, her heart brimming in them.

“I just thought...thought I would mention that...in case that was interesting to the two of you.”

Ben reached for her hand under the table and squeezed it in assurance. “When...how soon is she wanting to?”

“Well...I told her I would talk to you. They won’t go any further with any other options until they know if you are interested.”

He looked down at his wife, willing his own heart not to jump out like he was observing hers. He didn’t need to ask her or talk any further about it...the answer was on her face. He brought his other hand up to caress her face. 

“Luke...could you look after the animals for a few days?”

_______________________________

The ride to Sioux Falls was a two and a half day trip by wagon. Ben had rigged up the cover on it and made a soft padded bed in the back so Rey and the baby could ride back there on the way home, and it gave them a bed to use on the trail.

At night, they clung to each other, knowing their days of being alone were drawing to a close.

When they pulled into Sioux Falls three days later, Ben quickly found the livery to board the wagon, and they walked to the Grand Hotel on the main street to check in. It was almost dinner time, and they decided to wait until morning to go to Padme’s House.

Ben asked for room service. They bathed off the dust of the trail and reveled in each other's bodies before drifting off to sleep, satiated.

They slept-in the next morning after the weariness of the trip. Ben cuddled her close as the morning light poured in the window.

“Are you ready for this?”

“I think so. Now that we are here...and it is real...I’m nervous. Usually, you have nine months to get used to the idea. We don’t even have anything at home for it. I mean...we don’t even know if it’s a boy or a girl,” she fretted.

“I wrote to my parents...I asked them to send my crib. That will do for a while. A baby needs love, food, and shelter. We can do this.”

“I love you, Ben Skywalker Solo. I can’t believe we are going to be parents.”

“And, I love you, Rey Kenobi Solo. You are going to be the best mom...I just know it.”

They MIGHT have lingered a bit longer...and they MIGHT have enjoyed one last moment alone before rising to eat and get ready.

They walked down the main street and turned on the side street the address indicated. For the first time, Ben laid eyes on the place his sins had funded.

The large white home with green trim had a wide porch and a lovely garden, just starting to bloom.

Suddenly, he was nervous. He remembered what the house was for. 

“Should...should I even be here, Rey? Some of these women...what they have been through...I might frighten them.”

She considered his words and watched him carefully, seeing the panic in his eyes and his Adam's apple bobbing as he struggled with the emotion. She knew it was about more than what he said.

“Why don’t I go knock, and you can stay out here at the sidewalk? I will ask Sabine what we should do.”

He nodded and stood rigidly, his hat in his hands as she made her way to the porch. Once she was up there, she could hear the women’s voices inside. She took a deep breath and knocked.

When the door opened, she instantly recognized Sabine. The older woman pulled her into her arms. 

“Rey...I am so glad you are here!” She exclaimed. Her eyes drifted out to the large figure at the curb.

“He wasn’t sure…” Rey started.

Sabine cut her off. “Ben...please...come. You are welcome here, friend.”

He started at her voice, then stiffly walked up to the porch. “I didn’t want to...I mean, I know the girls…”

Sabine’s warm hand wrapped around his. “It’s OK, Ben. Just come here in the parlor. I will be back shortly.

They stepped in and into the parlor to the left. They looked at each other, not expecting to find what felt like a normal home. They sat on the sofa and waited.

Sabine floated back into the room. “Hildie will be along shortly. I would love to show you the whole house...to show what you have allowed us to do, but I’m sure you understand that isn’t possible. But, I am happy to report that we are almost full at 15 ladies.”

Rey was stunned. “How many...how many are at the other houses?”

“Well, all together we are ministering to 55 women right now. A few are getting ready to leave for various employment. They are graduating, so to speak. I am encouraged by the work…”

A petite, dark-haired young woman appeared at the door holding a bundle. “Is this OK...Sabine?” she asked tentatively.

Sabine rose to stand next to her, letting her arm around her shoulders encourage her. “Hildie...these are the Solos.”

She quietly walked over the couple at the couch and tilted her bundle to show them. “Mr. and Mrs. Solo...this is Grace. She is seven months old.”

Rey’s eyes drifted down from the young mom to the babe in her arms. Her eyes flooded with emotion as she took in the baby with dark hair and big brown eyes. She was beautiful. 

Then, though...she turned them back to the mother. Her heart suddenly ached for her. After desiring for a child for a while, she couldn’t fathom what it took to decide to give one up.

Her voice was hoarse a bit when she asked the young woman, “Hildie...are you sure? You can have time...we can wait.”

Hildie shook her head and bit her lip in an effort to stay the tears. “No...thank you, Mrs. Solo. If I wait it will just get harder. I need Grace to have a good home...to know that she is loved and cared for. I want her to have the best chance for a normal life. And I...I have to find the new path for mine.”

Rey nodded, knowing the difficulty that would be faced in their culture for a young, unmarried mother and her child. The women regarded each other for a silent moment before Rey nodded again. 

“May...may I hold her?” she asked gently.

Hildie leaned down and carefully placed her in Rey’s arms. The feeling that flooded her heart at the weight of her in her arms was indescribable.

She instantly felt Ben’s arm around her back, and she looked to meet his eyes that were shimmering with emotion just like hers.

She looked back down at the babe with the big dark eyes, ironically so much like his, and whispered, “Hi Grace.”

__________________________________

Sabine had a supporter that was a lawyer in town. They made short work of drawing up the paperwork. He promised to let them know if there were any complications, but he anticipated just being able to send them the final documents legalizing the adoption.

Blessedly, getting a baby at Grace’s age meant she was sleeping through the night. Still, they didn’t sleep. Was she breathing? Was she sad? Would they be good enough to parent her?

By the time the wagon pulled up to the house, they were both drooping in weariness. He noticed Luke’s wagon by the barn and was grateful for his uncle’s care for the animals. He took grace in his arms and helped Rey down from the wagon with his free arm, registering the sound of the door opening behind him. 

“Is that my grandchild in your arms, Benjamin Solo?” he heard a familiar voice call out.

“Mom?” he asked as he turned, incredulous that she was there. She was walking down the steps toward them, and then he saw Han and Luke standing in the doorway.

Leia forced her attention for a moment away from the baby and settled her gaze on her daughter-in-law. “Hello, dear….it’s been so long. Welcome to our family.” She gathered Rey in a hug and kissed her cheek before turning back to her son.

“Now...let me see?”

Ben nodded. “It’s a girl...her name is Grace.”

Leia nodded, tears streaming down as Ben placed the baby in her arms.

“Ben...it’s crazy, but she resembles you.”

“I know...that is what we thought too.”

Leia looked up and scrutinized them. “You are both exhausted. Go take a nap...I am on grandma duty.”

They were too tired to protest, hugging Luke and Han on their way to compliance.

Rey saw the crib set up in the far corner and the bed now pushed all the way against the wall. 

They just dropped down on the bed together. Once he was in place, she snuggled into his arms.

Her last conscious thought was that she went from being alone to being a wife, a mom, and a daughter-in-law.

His last thought was the appropriateness of his daughter’s name. He had truly been given what he did not deserve. First, redemption….and now...now Grace.


	17. Epilogue - As the Years Go By…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What do you do when you have a bit of a block in the current fic you are writing? You think about your previous babies and peek back in to see where their lives have taken them. Here's a forward journey in Redemption. Enjoy!

“Mama!” she heard Grace’s teenage voice call out in panic.

 

Rey sighed. She loved that girl, but she was starting to question if she was going to survive to see her 18th birthday with all the drama she brought.

 

She set down the blouse she had been fixing the buttonhole on and started up the stairs. Not for the first time, she lovingly ran her hand across the banister that Ben and Finn had crafted together when they added the second story to their home. At the top of the stairs, she focused her eyes on the doorway to the right where Grace’s room was.

 

She took in the dresses scattered about and her beautiful girl pacing in just her underthings.

 

“What seems to be the problem, dear?”

 

She sat on the bed in a huff...always dramatic this one was. She supposed it didn’t help that she was their oldest and her daddy doted on her to a fault.

 

“I...just none of these feel right. I want to look special for the harvest dance. I think Jonah might ask Daddy if he can court me.”

 

Rey looked at the no less than five dresses strewn over the bed, knowing there were at least as many still in her closet. She couldn’t have imagined having that many dresses at her Grace’s age.

 

“Baby girl...Jonah isn’t going to care a lick about your dress. I assure you, you could show up in a potato sack and he would still ask your daddy about that.”

 

“I know...I just wanted it to be special,” she sighed.

 

She raised the girl’s chin up to look in her eyes. “You make it special, Grace...not what you are wearing. He will love you for your heart...no what you are wearing on the outside.”

 

The girl’s eyes teared up a bit. “I know...I just want him to look at me like Daddy looks at you.”

 

“Oh...my sweet one. I could wear the same dress every day and he would still look at me like that. Now...I have always liked the ivory dress with the crimson sash on you…”

 

____________________________

 

Ben sat at his desk, the numbers in front of him swimming on the paper. He hated wearing the glasses doc has prescribed for him to read with, but he sighed and took them out of his drawer anyhow.

 

He and Finn would celebrate their 17th year in business together this year. As business partners they had built up their town into a respectable city, one house and business at a time. He handled the administration and sales, and Finn supervised all the laborers that did the construction.

 

The other man appeared in his doorway just then.

 

“Hey...Ben...did you see those specs I gave you for the electrical on the new house? I think we are going to need to hire a second electrician...Beau can’t keep up with the demand we have.”

 

He nodded. “Yeah...it all looks good and up to code. I’m looking over the bids I have, though...we might need three.”

 

Finn whistled and sat in the chair in front of his desk. “Who would have thought that adding a bathroom all those years ago to your house could lead to all of this, huh?”

 

Indeed. Who would have thought any of this life was possible. As it often did, his mind swam in wonder at how things had turned out for him.

 

Rey. That she had been loving him for over eighteen years was more than enough. He thought then, in their early days, that it couldn’t be any better...but that wasn’t true. Oh, he wanted her just as desperately as he had then, but it was wonderfully more now...richer. 

 

As if that wasn’t already far more than he could hope for, their children brought event more abundance. Grace was almost a woman, and if the look he saw in Finn and Rose’s son’s eyes was any indication, she would be married and out of the house soon.

 

The twins, their surprise blessing four years after they adopted Grace, came when they thought having their own would not be for them. Noah and Caleb were almost fourteen, and he thought he would have to expand his business just to keep them fed with the amount of food their growing, gangly bodies put away. Luckily, they were both excellent shots and keep their meat supply stocked.

 

Lastly, Violet was almost six. She was his 40th birthday surprise. He had been growing concerned that something was really wrong with Rey when she suffered weeks of lethargy and illness...then Doc threw them a curveball with the news. It was a hard pregnancy...but the end result was a little dark-haired, hazel-eyed cherub that the whole family adored.

 

He had no business having the life he had...yet he did.

 

“Who would have thought indeed, my friend...who indeed…

 

______________________________

 

Ben sighed inwardly. Really, this was his fault that he sat here as the leader of the board. He had suggested the bank form a board of directors to help with accountability and integrity at the institution, but all he wanted to do was be home and bury his face in Rey’s neck. The skin was so soft there, and the strands of her silky, wavy hair surrounded him…

 

“Solo?”

 

He shook himself mentally. “I’m sorry, Snap...it has been a long day. I lost myself there for a minute. What was the question?”

 

“I was asking your opinion about the steel vault. You are the resident expert around here on bank safety. Any thoughts on if it’s worth it to invest in that?”

 

He smiled. He loved secretly that his past was out for all to see and actually worked now as a benefit for everyone.

 

“I think it’s a very good idea. Is that the last item on our agenda? I didn’t like how the sky looked on our way in...I think we should adjourn early…”

 

______________________

 

As soon as he walked in the door, the blessed madness of his home assaulted his senses.

 

Grace was fussing at the boys. Apparently, she did not appreciate the garter snake they had left in her apron pocket. She was chasing them around the dining table, scolding them as she went.

 

Violet was singing sweetly to her babydoll, rocking her in the little cradle she had gotten last Christmas.

 

“Grace...Noah...Caleb...that is enough! Finish setting that table, or no cobbler for you!” came Rey’s exasperated voice from the kitchen.

 

He could hear their muffled voices down the hall. He quietly crept past Violet to the kitchen.

 

Her back was to him, busy with preparations at the counter. He stole up quietly behind her and snaked his arms around her waist.

 

Right in her ear, he rumbled, “Times like this make it hard to remember how badly we once wanted them...huh?”

 

He buried his nose and lips in the spot he had been longing to and breathed her sweet aroma in.

 

She laughed, and he felt the vibration of it against his lips on her throat.

 

“What were we thinking?” she quipped.

 

“Hmmm...I wasn’t really thinking about them at the time...to be honest. I was thinking about…” his hands were just starting to climb a bit north of her waist and suddenly a noise behind him stopped him dead in his tracks.

 

“Daddy!” Violet shrieked as the ran up and hugged the back of his legs.

 

She giggled then, and her sweet little voice said, “Mama...we are making a Daddy sandwich!”

 

He squeezed her once before letting go of her and turned to lift his littlest up into his arms. “And how is the sweetest little almost-six-year-old I know?” He asked as he kissed the top of her head.

 

She giggled again. “I’m playing with my dolly...like I’m Mama.”

 

He tossed her in the air a bit, loving the joy her little face exuded. “Well...I am sure you will be an amazing little mama if you are modeling after yours...she’s the best.”

 

Her little arms tried in vain to encircle him, but only reached the back of his shoulder. “You too...Daddy...you are the bestest Daddy ever.”

 

Rey leaned over and kissed her too. “Vi...can you go call your brothers and sisters...dinner is ready.”

 

Once her feet hit the floor, she scurried off to obey. Rey pulled off her apron and leaned into his arms, wrapping hers tight around his middle.

 

“I missed you,” she whispered against his chest.

 

“I would have rather been here with you than where I had to be today. Who knew being respectable was so tiring.”

 

Her laugh was silky. “Reconsidering your life choices, Solo? Thinking about resorting to a life of crime?”

 

One hand stayed wrapped around her waist while the other cupped the back of her head, holding her tightly to his chest.

 

“The only thing I want to steal now is your heart...and maybe the moans…”

 

She slapped her palm on his backside before he could continue. “Later...my love...later…”

 

________________________________

 

Later that night, breathless and tangled in the aftermath in each other's arms, she remembered what she had wanted to tell him all day.

 

“I had a letter today from your mom…”

 

He chuckled, his breathing still returning to normal. “Good thing you didn’t mention my mother until now…”

 

She play-slapped his naked chest, “Shush...this is serious.”

 

“So was I,” he teased as he drew her into his arms. Then, remembering...he sobered. “Is she OK?”

 

“Well...obviously she misses your dad. I can’t believe it’s been a year since he’s been gone. And...it got me thinking...maybe it’s time to move her down here. The Simpson house is going to be on the market soon...what with their move to California. And...it’s so close to Luke and Mara. I think we should talk to her about being here with all of us.”

 

He was quiet, thinking about his dad being gone.

 

“I think she’s lonely now, Ben. Even with all her friends and charity work up there...she should be with family.”

 

He exhaled. “I think you are right. I will write her about it and post the letter tomorrow.”

 

She tipped her head back so she could rest her chin on his chest and look up at him. “The kids would love to have her close...I would love to have her close.”

 

He ran his fingers through her hair. “Me too.”

 

She turned her head back and rested is sideways on his chest, nuzzling in. “I love you, Ben Solo...I’m so glad I married you to get you out of the slammer.”

 

“And I love you, Mrs. Solo...I am glad you are the kind of woman to marry a convict.”

 

“You were never convicted, my love...”

 

“I was absolved for more than I should have been...and given more than I deserved. I should have never had your love...Waȟčázi…”

 

“Isn’t is crazy, Ben...how little choices dictate your life? The choice you made to work for Snoke...the choice Maz made to follow the wailing to find me...the choice you made to stop running and get caught...the choice Hildie made to give up Grace...and the choice you made to finally forgive yourself.”

 

“Those aren’t small choices, Rey.”

 

“Sure...on this side they seem monumental, but at the moment of making them...they didn’t seem that way.”

 

He ran his arm down her back. “Very philosophical of you, wife…”

 

She slid the leg that was bent on the top of his thighs all the way over and sat up to straddle him. “I’m not feeling philosophical...Solo.”

 

His eyebrows shot up. “Again? I’m getting old...Rey...I might need more time…”

 

She mischievously shifted on him a bit, feeling that _maybe_ he was more prepared for her suggestion than he said. “I might need more too, husband. Make a choice.”

 

His eyes darkened, looking up at her. “That is always an easy choice. Every day, no matter what, the answer to that choice is always yes... _always_ , Chuntay skoo ya.”

 

She leaned down and kissed him. “Good answer, Ben...good answer.”

 


End file.
